Man Who Ordered Joy Division LP on Temu Receives Interpol Tape
LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Thrifty post-punk fan Dannie Bishop reportedly received an Interpol tape in lieu of the Joy Division…
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Peter Woods
79 stories found
Overly Ambitious Promoter Books Mixed Genre Show With Three Hardcore Bands, Full Production of “The Phantom of the Opera”
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Local promoter Trent Lyons combined a reasonably curated three-act hardcore bill with a full touring production…
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New Government Initiative Invites Incels to Trade In Their Firearms for Bass Guitars
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives announced a new federally funded program asking the incel…
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Virtual Dominatrix Caught on Zoom Call Wearing Pants
TRENTON, N.J. — Local virtual dominatrix Vixen Velvetlash was caught on Zoom wearing pants, shocking the BDSM community, confirmed disappointed…
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Dad Calls Penis Something Weird Again
LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Local dad Sean Nolan is once again using a weird, unexpected, and previously nonexistent slang term for…
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Opinion: I Thought I Had the Perfect Name for Our Band, but Apparently Sanguisugabogg Is Already Taken
Is there a bigger time suck in this world than trying to come up with a new band name? Every…
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Punk Wishes He Had Gotten Tattoo of Alkaline Trio’s Heart Logo Instead of a Dog Shitting Razorblades
CHICAGO — Local punk Rikki Fedlimid felt remorseful after getting a tattoo of a dog shitting razorblades to show his…
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Scientists Warn that Random Women With Band Shirts May Be Asked to Name Upwards of 8 Songs by 2050
STANFORD, Calif. — Scientists from Stanford University’s Center for Social Climate Research issued a new report claiming that women wearing…
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38-Year-Old Touring Musician Changes Entire Rider to “Enough Chairs For Me and Audience”
SANTA FE, N.M. — Ana Sutton, a 38-year-old musician who is currently on tour, recently changed all the demands in…
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Everyone at Chat Pile Halloween Show Assumes Singer is Dressed as Randy from “Trailer Park Boys”
OKLAHOMA CITY — Attendees at Chat Pile’s Halloween show universally agreed that singer Raygun Busch was dressed as Randy from…
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