Good Charlotte Demoted to Third-Or-Fourth-Worst Thing Madden Brothers Have Done
NEW YORK — A conclave of scene elders has announced that Good Charlotte, once the undisputed pariah of all things…
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The Hard Times Staff
918 stories found
Better Late Than Never: We Sat Down With Bagel Boss To Discuss Mask Mandates
2019 was a simpler time. We had no idea a global pandemic was coming our way that would upend life…
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Israeli Settlers Wondering if America Could Send Some of Those Smallpox Blankets They Used When Stealing Land From Native Americans
NABLUS, Palestine — Israeli settlers who are illegally stealing land from Palestinians in the occupied West Bank are urging U.S.…
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“Unacceptable,” IDF Commander Responds to Report That Some Hospitals in Gaza Are Still Operating
GAZA CITY — High-ranking officials in the Israeli Defense Force were alarmed by a report that the targeted bombing of…
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Trump Escalates Talk of World War III By Calling for Assassination of Scottish Indie Rock Band Franz Ferdinand
WASHINGTON — President Trump worried world leaders in Europe and beyond after making remarks that he would like to see…
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“This is Why We Do It” Says ICE Agent After Reading Letter From 6-Year-Old Saying “You Ruined My Life”
LOS ANGELES — Local ICE agent Mitch Holsen admitted he wept a few tears of joy after receiving an emotional…
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Nazi Dating App Crashes During ICE Convention
WASHINGTON — The servers for a new Nazi dating app called Thousand-Year Romance crashed during a recent convention for officers…
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AI Bruce Springsteen Writes Touching Song About Hard-Working Computer Pulling Multiple 24-Hour Shifts at Data Center
LONG BRANCH, N.J. — An AI computer model based on legendary musician Bruce Springsteen released its first single about an…
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Trump Says if Americans In D.C. Don’t Start Cooperating He Will Call in the IDF
WASHINGTON — President Trump threatened the residents of the nation’s capital by saying that if they don’t fall in line…
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Conservative Christian Outraged by Woke Parts of the Bible Being Highlighted in Red
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local man Jerry Whipple, a self-described red-blooded, god-fearing follower of Christ, was outraged when he noticed…
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