SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local insufferable man Mitch Roberts announced recently that he was “about to be so annoying,” a sentiment…
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Makers of the Oura Ring, the health metric wearable, announced an option for punks which notifies wearers…
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NEW YORK — New York Mayor-Elect Zohran Mamdani revealed that plans for his mayoral term will include providing shitty local…
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My name is Sebastian, and I’m a multihyphenate. I’ve actually had many multihyphenate titles ever since I learned what multihyphenate…
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SMYRNA, Ga. — A beloved billboard in a Georgia suburb made waves following a recent display of pro-life messaging, confirmed…
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GORHAM, Maine — A local punk squirrel known as Slip Nutz was found stuffing his cheeks with Wintergreen Zyn pouches…
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Guys, I need to be honest. I’ve been in a creative slump, and nothing seems to be working. I’ve been…
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Look, I’ve done some things I’m not proud of in this life. We all tell little white lies to get…
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MADISON, Wis. — Local loser Jim Perkins reportedly found his DUI from two beers kind of embarrassing, confirmed sources who…
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BUSHWICK, N.Y. — Bushwick child Avery Bridgerton reportedly acted quite cagey when questioned on the playground about how they could…
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