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Nice Guy Stuck in Boyfriend-Zone

AUSTIN, Texas — All-around nice guy Ken Ludlow has reportedly found himself in another long-term relationship with a woman despite his wanting to “just be…

Man Ghosted by Dating Sim

TOLEDO, Ohio — A lovelorn man was surprised to see that he had been “ghosted” by Love Bubble Yeah!—a dating sim he had been playing…

Post-Breakup Goth Displays No Change Whatsoever

CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski is exhibiting “incredibly dark, morose, and in no way different” behavior than prior to a recent breakup with…