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Man To Be Honored at GLAAD Awards for Giving Bisexual Girlfriend a Ride to Chappell Roan Concert

LOS ANGELES – GLAAD, the world’s largest LGBTQ media advocacy organization, announced that local boyfriend Noah Simms will receive a Vanguard Award for his work giving his bisexual girlfriend and her friends a ride to lesbian singer Chappell Roan’s nearby concert.

“My girlfriend Chelsea got me into Chappell Roan and we’ve been blasting her queer anthems non-stop. I thought it would be sweet to surprise Chels with tickets to the next show, but then I imagined her having to sing along to the bridge of ‘Good Luck Babe’ while I was standing next to her. I couldn’t do that to her, especially during Pride Month,” said Simms. “Bi girlfriends should be free to tell other girls they’re so pretty too and sing about regretting marrying a man. So, I gave the tickets and a ride to her and her best friends to right my wrongs of putting her in a hetero-normative relationship in the first place.”

GLAAD President Shanoor Arora sees this as a call to action for other boyfriends of queer women.

“With the current political climate and anti-LGBTQ+ sentiments on the rise, Noah Simms displayed a brave act of allyship. It’s time to get behind the wheel, boys,” said Arora. “Rideshare and venue parking fees are a bitch. And frankly, Chappell’s concerts are not about to get cheaper, considering she went from 2M to 22M monthly listeners on Spotify in the course of six weeks. So it’s really up to the brave men who support their bi and pan ‘gfs’ to utilize their privilege accordingly.”

Chappell Roan was invited to present the award to Simms but turned it down, offering a message to Simms instead.

“Boyfriends shouldn’t be receiving any awards when their girlfriends are out there in my crowd, bereft of an iced coffee, staring longingly at a woman they will never know carnally. But I guess this guy should get some tiny speck of recognition. What if their girlfriend’s gay asses are craving Taco Bell after my show? Then I guess men like Noah need to be there with the car running for their partners now more than ever, babes,” said Roan. “It’s a perfect opportunity for them to literally stay in their lane.”

At press time, Simm’s received a text from his girlfriend asking for him to drop her and her crew off at a hotel for a “super cute slumber party.”