Metal Tag Archives

Tipper Gore Admits She Only Started the PMRC Because She Was Denied a Backstage Pass at a Judas Priest Show

Steve Packosky • August 31, 2026

MONTECITO, Calif. — Former second lady of the United States Tipper Gore admitted that she only co-founded the Parents Music…

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Help! Andrew WK Told Me My Bloody Nose Pics Aren’t Metal Because I Dropped My iPad on My Face Reading a Cozy Mystery Ebook

Arielle Andreano • July 20, 2026

Ever since I was a kid, I yearned for the effortless coolness of the I Get Wet album cover. Sure,…

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Five Goatwhore Songs You Might as Well Check Out Because, Let’s Face It, You’re Not Getting Into Heaven

Steve Packosky • July 8, 2026

Whoa, are you seriously getting ready for church right now? My man, that ship has sailed. There’s absolutely no way…

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Looksmaxxing Metalhead Purposely Fractures His Cranial Bones To Reshape Skullet

Steve Packosky • May 17, 2026

MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — Metalhead and self-proclaimed looksmaxxer Owen Reynolds used a hammer to break several of his cranial bones in…

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Oh, You’re a Cradle of Filth Fan? Name Three H.P. Lovecraft Stories

S.L. Neechski • May 8, 2026

Hey you. Yeah, you with the choker and the “Vestal Masturbation” shirt. Wow, you really bought that. And you’re wearing…

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Pretty Neat! Here Are Five Canadian Metal Bands Who Don’t Have To Worry About Going Bankrupt From an Emergency Room Visit

Steve Packosky • May 2, 2026

Along with its publicly funded universal healthcare system, Canada has a long, storied history within metal music. As if having…

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Quiz: Cannibal Corpse Song Title or Stephen Miller’s Pornhub Search History?

Steve Packosky • April 27, 2026

Cannibal Corpse is an awesome death metal band from Buffalo, New York, that made a name for themselves in the…

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Anthropologists Discover Uncontacted Metal Subgenre

Charles Bill • April 25, 2026

STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Leading musical anthropologists announced that they have discovered a previously uncontacted metal genre, confirmed sources. “I was…

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What, So Carving “Slayer” Into Your Forearm Is Normal, but Carving “Toad the Wet Sprocket” Isn’t?

Steve Packosky • March 9, 2026

The nineties were a great time as far as iconic rock tunes were concerned. We couldn’t turn on our radios…

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Five World War I Themed Metal Bands To Check Out Since You Forgot To Study for Your History Final

Steve Packosky • February 16, 2026

World War I, or The Great War, was an unbelievably vast, global conflict that took place a little over a…

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