Cannibal Corpse is an awesome death metal band from Buffalo, New York, that made a name for themselves in the nineties with their grotesque song lyrics and album art, while Stephen Miller is perhaps the most obvious sexual sadist who’s ever been appointed White House Deputy Chief of Staff for policy.
After coming into possession of his most recent Pornhub searches through means that we’re not going to divulge, we thought we’d give our readers a fun quiz, so be sure to sound off in the comments and let us know how you do! Are the following Cannibal Corpse song titles or Stephen Miller’s Pornhub search queries?
- “Force Fed Broken Glass”
If your answer was Both, great job! This is both a Cannibal Corpse song title from their stellar 1994 album “The Bleeding” as well as a phrase that our current Homeland Security Advisor has recently typed chickenpeck-style into Pornhub with his left hand while manipulating himself with his right. Let’s move on to the next one!
- “Orgasm Through Torture”
Woof, this one is Both again. We’re starting to think Miller has some deep-seated issues that he might want to address with his therapist.
- “Drowning in Viscera”
Both. Jesus, are any of these one or the other? Sorry, we really should’ve vetted our questions before writing the quiz.
- “Meat Hook Sodomy”
Goddamnit.
- “Covered With Sores”
What the fuck; this one is even from the same album as the last! Is he just copying and pasting their discographies during his jerk sessions, or are these coincidences? Honestly, both are equally fucked, so we guess it doesn’t even matter.
- “Bent Backwards and Broken”
Both, as if you even needed us to tell you.
- “Submerged in Boiling Flesh”
Fuck Stephen Miller
- “Skewered From Ear to Eye”
Both. You know what? You can just listen to Cannibal Corpses and enjoy the music without taking the song titles as a guide to pulling your pud. Just a thought.
- “Post Mortal Ejaculation”
Alright, we need to end this because it’s starting to upset our stomachs. This should go without saying, but if you’re ever given a glimpse into Stephen Miller’s masturbatory habits, do yourself a favor and run. Let’s do one more.
- “Worm Infested”
Ohmygod! We think this is a Stephen Miller original! Hallelujah! This—oh, wait. “Worm Infested” is the self-titled song off a 2003 EP. We quit.
