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Basement Show Goes Dark After Grandma Turns on Kettle Upstairs

OKLAHOMA CITY – Local punk band Extreme Rash’s recent basement show abruptly went dark after the singer’s grandmother absentmindedly turned on her tea kettle during their set and overloaded the electrical panel, according to angry musicians squatting at her home.

“I’ve told her a million times, don’t turn the kettle on if we’re performing downstairs. I know she’s basically deaf, but she should know that when random people are getting drunk in the kitchen it probably means we have a show going on,” stated 37-year-old frontman Jerry Spikes as he devoured another meal that his grandma had prepared. “When I agreed to be her roommate I made it clear that she wasn’t supposed to turn on the kettle, open the fridge, or turn on any lights while we played because the circuit breakers couldn’t handle it. I was so embarrassed to tell everyone that we couldn’t continue because someone can’t follow simple instructions. And she didn’t even make a pie for this show, which is bullshit.”

Showgoer Kristine Skinner described what happened after the lights went out.

“At first we were pissed but whatever, shit happens,” replied Skinner. “We tried to be pretty chill about it, which is something I can’t say about the lead singer who threw a fit at this sweet old lady who came down to check to see if everyone was okay. She was in tears apologizing and said she wasn’t sure why the breakers blew, especially since she left money for her grandson to take care of the problem months ago. What a fucking dirtbag.”

Local electrician Brett Lucas stressed the importance of updating your wiring if using your basement as an illegal music venue.

“If you decide on having an unauthorized concert space, you’d better make damn sure your electrical box can handle the extra load,” described Lucas. “Most of these unlicensed shows are basically deathtraps when you realize it’s a bunch of dirty punks in charge of everyone’s safety who’d rather steal their grandparent’s social security checks than pay an electrician to get rid of all their knob and tube wiring. In addition to upgrading your panel, I also recommend finding an exterminator to get rid of any unwanted vermin that have infiltrated your house looking for food and shelter who can easily start eating the insulation on the copper wires, then stealing the copper. Don’t take this lightly, punk infestations are nasty.”

At press time, the band was setting up in the garage when the roof, which Spikes also promised to get fixed, caved in and buried the punks alive.