BOCA RATON, Fla. — Debuting his brand-new dating profile, local Tinder user David Bloom, 29, advertised his long-held passions for eating food, breathing fresh air,…
Ever wanted to annihilate your boyfriend in video games without annihilating his fragile male ego? Well with these six simple tips, you’ll be racking up…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Designers of the hyper-masculine bottle opener, BottleBRUTALIZER, announced on Kickstarter earlier this week that the product would be “virtually indestructible,” citing…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local job seeker Brenna Reed updated her resume to include “proficient at Photoshop” roughly two minutes into a 5-hour tutorial on the…
DURHAM, N.C. — During a recent visit to his friend’s house, Patrick Garrett found an LG InstaView ThinQ smart fridge to be the only approachable…
ROCKVILLE, M.D. — After accidentally clicking on “bigjeremygaming_33 plays minecraft (xbox) very funny,” local Twitch user Nathan Elbaum came to the uncomfortable realization that he…
EAST BRUNSWICK, N.J. — After eating a quiet, solitary meal of Trader Joe’s frozen artichoke dip earlier this evening, 23-year-old graduate student Sarah Goldman returned…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — A disheartening new report from Tesla concluded earlier this week that self-driving cars are still years behind their traditional counterparts when…
BARNEGAT LIGHT, N.J. — Self-described platonic friends Nathaniel Hester and Dorian McIntosh were forced to imagine a saucy domestic fantasy in which they fell deeply…
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Undefeated laser tag champion Patrick Manzke won his fifty-second consecutive melee-only game this morning, leaving some opponents “shocked” and others permanently paralyzed…
MANAHAWKIN, N.J. — Local adult Sam McGrath spent two seconds shooting a brief, wistful glance down the LEGO aisle of a Stafford Target store before…
NEW YORK — Following a momentous victory at the Fortnite World Cup finals, 16-year-old eSports prodigy Kyle ‘Bugha’ Giersdorf now faces the delicate financial decision…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Disgraced gamer Jake Marglous, 2, wrapped up his latest non-TAS speedrun of Putt-Putt Saves the Zoo earlier this week, with sources reporting…
HACKENSACK, N.J. — Budget-conscious gamer Max Turner began shaking his Corsair K95 mechanical keyboard over a ceramic dinner plate after noticing a tempting vein of…