Oh, You’re a Cannibal Corpse Fan? Name Three Torture Porn Movies
A Cannibal Corpse fan, huh? Like your music pummelling and your lyrics gory, do ya? That’s neat ’n all, but…
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S.L. Neechski
33 stories found
Raw Milk Advocate Now Diarrhea Advocate
EAST TROY, Wis. — Content creator and raw milk advocate Chaz Mossner announced his advocacy of diarrhea today via TikTok…
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Oh, You’re a Buckethead Fan? Name Three Items on the KFC Menu
Hey you. Yeah, you with the Chicago Bulls jersey and the nunchucks doing what looks like a robot dance. And…
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Tom Cruise Outruns Treadmill
LOS ANGELES — Movie star and empty-smiler Tom Cruise achieved the seemingly impossible by outrunning a treadmill while training for…
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Oh, You’re a Cradle of Filth Fan? Name Three H.P. Lovecraft Stories
Hey you. Yeah, you with the choker and the “Vestal Masturbation” shirt. Wow, you really bought that. And you’re wearing…
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Oh, You’re A KISS Fan? Name Three Ways To Monetize A Logo
Hey, you with the demon facepaint, and the KISS t-shirt, and the KISS patch on your vest, and the KISS…
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Oh, You’re an As I Lay Dying Fan? Name Three Anabolic Steroids
Hey, you with the As I Lay Dying t-shirt with the sleeves cut off and swelled-up ankles. You’re a metalcore…
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Oh, You’re A KoЯn Fan? Name Three Dah-Boom-Dah-Dah-MMM-Dum-Nah-Ee-Mah
Hey, you with the white-kid dreads and those baggy JNCOs with a portable CD player in the giant back pocket.…
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Tesla Hides Drive Mode Behind Subscription Paywall
AUSTIN, Texas — Tesla CEO and impossibly moronic manchild Elon Musk announced this week that Tesla will begin locking the…
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New Aaron Lewis Album Crowdsourced From r/Conservative
WORTHINGTON, Mass. — Country musician and patriot cosplayer Aaron Lewis admitted this week that he crowdsourced his new album, “I’m…
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