Having a novelty hit in the ‘90s is a sticky situation. Most one-hit wonders of that era have long since faded into karaoke catalog legend, while many of the more tenacious rock bands continue to tread the state fair circuit on packaged nostalgia tours. New York City power pop trio Nada Surf were just a little hipper than the rest of the pack, though, riding off the momentum of their 1996 teenage navel-gazing anthem “Popular” and reinventing themselves as one of the most beloved indie bands of our generation. Here are all their albums in a very particular order.
8. The Proximity Effect (1998)
Despite being punch drunk from their round in the major label ring, the band’s sophomore outing still delivers a few good swings in the peppy lead single “Hyperspace,” the moody “Bacardi” and the 6/8 time dirge of “Firecracker.” Overall though, “The Proximity Effect” comes off as a bit uneven and overlong. Supposedly Elektra Records was so unhappy with this one that they didn’t even release it in the States, which is some serious schoolyard bully shit. Maybe (absolutely) Ian MacKaye had a point all along.
Play it again: “Hyperspace”, “Bacardi”
Skip it: Dispossession
7. High/Low (1996)
This is the one with the song everybody knows. More than aptly produced by the legendary Ric Ocasek, the band’s debut LP boasts some great performances, particularly from the rock solid rhythm section of bassist Daniel Lorca and drummer Ira Elliot. The “low” in “High/Low” comes in the form of vocalist Matthew Caws’ often childish and obtuse lyrics. “I can see, the things she does for me. I’m living in a treehouse.” Huh?
Play it again: “Treehouse” (it’s actually a cool song)
Skip it: You probably don’t need to hear “Popular” again.
Honorable mention: If I Had a HiFi (2010)
This can technically be considered a studio album in that it was indeed recorded in a studio, but the songs are all covers, so we’ll only mention it honorably. The band made it a point here to perform every track in a very Nada Surf style, to varying results. Something gets lost in the sauce with their flat arrangements of Depeche Mode’s “Enjoy the Silence” and the Moody Blues’ “Question,” but they land a bullseye with an excellent take on “Love and Anger” by Kate Bush. Maybe wedding band isn’t in the cards as a retirement plan for these guys, but that’s okay, we have Me First and the Gimme Gimmes for that.
Play it again: “Love and Anger”
Skip it: “Enjoy the Silence”
6. Never Not Together (2020)
Nada Surf is the type of band that you wouldn’t blame for mellowing out with age, but maybe they went a little TOO mellow with their 2020 outing. It’s cool though, because this dropped literally a month before Covid hit, and we needed a little something to take the edge off our “Tiger King” binge. Caws even gives us a fun nod to “Popular” on the bridge of “Something I Should Do” with a stream-of-consciousness spoken word rant about… farms and social media?
Play it again: “So Much Love”
Skip it: “So Much Love – Acoustic”
5. You Know Who You Are (2016)
Around this time, the band decided to level up their street cred and invite Guided By Voices guitarist Doug Gillard into the fold as the fourth wheel, and the results are every bit as awesome as you’d expect. Selections such as the driving title track and “New Bird” feature a nice extra bite in the guitar section, while “Out of the Dark” and “Victory’s Yours” provide all those warm, fuzzy, flannel sheets on the first morning of fall feels that you’ve come to rely on this band for.
Play it again: “Out of the Dark”
Skip it: “Friend Hospital”
4. The Stars Are Indifferent to Astronomy (2013)
The band’s first release with Gillard on second guitar and the fuzz gets cranked up to 11 on selections like the “Clear Eye, Clouded Mind” and “Looking Through,” evoking the youthful energy of “High/Low” while “When I Was Young” and “Teenage Dreams” balance it all out through a wizened middle age gaze. This is the record you might be able to sneak on when you’re with your punk friends and not get beat up for it.
Play it again: “Looking Though”, “Teenage Dreams”
Skip it: No skips on this one. Enjoy the ride.
3. The Weight Is a Gift (2005)
In a perfect world where all is good and just, Nada Surf would be best remembered for “Always Love,” the impossibly perfect lead single that earned the band a much-deserved second wind of popularity in the mid-aughts. But much like those pictures of you in your Marilyn Manson phase, the sins of the ‘90s can never be fully washed clean. Anyway, the rest of this album is damn near perfect too, except for “Blankest Year,” a strange anemic hoe-down in which Caws unconvincingly proclaims “ahh fuck it, I’m gonna have a party.” It’s almost like hearing a priest drop an F-bomb in his sermon. It feels a little uncouth and embarrassing.
Play it again: “Always Love”
Skip it: “Blankest Year”
2. Lucky (2008)
It’s no surprise that the band often leans heavily on this record in their live sets. These 11 tracks were written for the sold-out rooms and festival main stages they rightfully earned. The chords are big and sparkly and the hooks are sharp on standout tracks like “Beautiful Beat” and the post-emo crowd favorite “Weightless.” This album should be issued to every burgeoning indie band as an example of how to be radio-friendly without coming off as totally cringe.
Play it again: “Weightless”
Skip it: “Here Goes Something” (we don’t need to bring country into this)
1. Let Go (2003)
If you can’t relate to the line “I’m just a happy kid, stuck with the heart of a sad punk,” then you probably have no use for this publication. After finally breaking their corporate shackles, the band signed on with Seattle indie Barsuk Records and spread their wings like a sweet little corduroy-clad butterfly on this collection of bittersweet bangers. Upbeat jams like “Hi-Speed Soul” and “The Way You Wear Your Head” sit beside slow-burning anthems like “Inside of Love” and “Killian’s Red.” We’re even treated to a French lesson by Lorca on “Là Pour Ça.” Legend has it that the band paid for this recording session in $1 and $5 bills, which only serves to prove that money can indeed buy happiness.
Play it again: “Inside of Love,” “Killians Red”
Skip it: Skip right over to the record store and buy this thing on vinyl.
Synopsis: A history-loving influencer (Emma Stone) stumbles upon a series of love letters from the past and becomes obsessed with finding their author (Matthew McConaughey) in a TikTok-worthy time-travel adventure that will have you at the edge of your 18-45 year-old demographic seat, celebrating diversity.
Synopsis: A bunch of bumbling ghost hunters (Seth Rogen, Kristen Wiig, Jonah Hill) accidentally unleash a gaggle of mischievous spirits in a haunted mansion, creating hilarious Snapchat-worthy chaos, all while exploring the cerebral and moody side of the supernatural and promoting diversity.
Synopsis: A world-famous shrink (Meryl Streep) gets caught in a web of deception when her patient (Cate Blanchett) confesses to a murder that may or may not have happened. Is it all just a viral TikTok prank gone wrong, with a little something for Daddy’s fascination with the multiverse and a nod to diversity?
Synopsis: A charismatic space pirate (Chris Hemsworth) recruits a diverse crew (Zendaya, John Boyega, and Zoe Saldana) for an epic heist in the galactic underworld, all while flexing their interstellar swagger, plus a little something for the boys who love action-packed adventures and laser karate, and a commitment to diversity.
Synopsis: Melody (voiced by Ansel Elgort), a young musician, stumbles upon a magical music box that brings his compositions to life. However, he must decide between fame and the enchanting world he’s discovered within the music box, leading to a heartwarming journey of self-discovery and the power of music. Zoomers, experience a musical adventure that will resonate with your generation and become part of the financially lucrative fandom of Pixar’s enchanting tales!
Synopsis: A lone survivor (Tom Hanks) must navigate a post-apocalyptic wasteland, seeking fellow Zoomers and the ultimate viral comeback in a world gone viral (in a different sense), exploring themes of isolation and a lack of sexuality, all while promoting diversity.
Synopsis: Two rival undercover agents (Ryan Reynolds, Charlize Theron) must join forces to stop an international terrorist threat, complete with TikTok disguises, SnapMap espionage, and Instagram-worthy showdowns, all while keeping you at the edge of your 18-45-year-old demographic seat and celebrating diversity, daddy.
Synopsis: Middle-aged Charlotte (Scarlett Johansson) and Bob (Bill Murray) reunite in Tokyo for an Insta-worthy journey to reconnect and reflect on life’s #Adulting struggles, with a little something for daddy’s nostalgia and cerebral reflection, and a commitment to diversity.
Synopsis: A young Zoomer (Emma Watson) discovers her magical heritage and embarks on an Insta-fabulous quest with a wise wizard (Ian McKellen) to reclaim her kingdom and become a true #Queen, delving into themes of destiny and the multiverse, all while celebrating diversity.
Synopsis: A retired cop (Liam Neeson) takes law and justice into his own hands when his daughter (Emily Blunt) gets caught in a real-life drama filled with Reddit-worthy twists, with a little something for the boys who love vigilante action and suspense, and a commitment to diversity.
Synopsis: A genius physicist (Natalie Portman) communicates with her future self (Rachel McAdams) in a trippy TikTok trend, leading to mind-blowing, time-bending consequences, all while exploring the cerebral and moody side of time travel, with a commitment to diversity.
Synopsis: A hardcore detective (Idris Elba) investigates bizarre murders in a dystopian city, exposing conspiracy theories that will leave Zoomers with goosebumps and cryptic emoji messages, and a little something for the boys who love mystery and suspense, and a commitment to diversity.
Synopsis: A hashtag-trending father (Brad Pitt) and son (Timothée Chalamet) bond through their shared love for art, mending old wounds and inspiring a new generation of #FamilyGoals, all while exploring the cerebral and moody side of family dynamics, and promoting diversity.
Synopsis: A young explorer (Lily James) stumbles upon a hidden island with magical creatures and falls in love with a merman (Harry Styles) in an enchanting Insta-story romance, complete with laser karate, and a celebration of diversity.
Synopsis: A trendy librarian (Cate Blanchett) uncovers a mysterious journal that lets her witness historical events IRL, leading to an epic YouTube-worthy quest for answers, all while exploring the cerebral and moody side of time travel, and promoting diversity.
This album seems to be a bit of a regression from the earlier Bad Brains material. The punk’s a bit harder, but it’s also… sloppier, somehow. The anger feels like it’s been replaced by spleen-venting. And, of course, we should talk about the elephant in the room that is “Don’t Blow Bubbles,” a song that has had a really problematic legacy of homophobia, suggesting that if you “don’t blow bubbles” and “don’t blow spikes,” AIDS would not exist. To the Bad Brains’ credit, in the years since the song came out, the band has distanced itself from the song, and re-releases of the album do not feature it. That being said, even with “Don’t Blow Bubbles” out of the mix, there’s still something less than enchanting about this album when listened to alongside its predecessors. It’s not the worst thing ever, but it does feel an underwhelming shout from the late 1980s. Not unlike the presidency of George H.W. Bush.
After bouncing around different frontmen throughout the late-’80s and early-’90s, Bad Brains reclaimed original vocalist H.R. for this rocking, rap-inflected mid-90s album. And the result, much like a haircut from a coked-out barber, is sadly uneven. Now don’t get me wrong. You have to respect Bad Brains for playing around with style. After almost twenty years of existence, the willingness to play with different genres and styles (hip-hop specifically) is commendable. Better that than be the musical equivalent of the adults who only eat pasta and Chipotle for every meal. But it doesn’t save “God of Love” from its cardinal sin. It’s honestly just kind of boring. From the start, on songs like “Cool Mountaineer” you almost get the sense their hearts aren’t in it. The rap on songs like “Justice Keepers” is as nosy and intrusive as a Human Resources representative and the energy is lethargic throughout.
“Quickness” and “God of Love” are really the only two Bad Brains albums I can’t, in good conscience, recommend. But for newcomers, there’s something tricky in “I & I Survived.” That’s not to say it’s a bad album. It’s not. It is, however, an album without a lead vocalist. Israel Joseph I was long gone and H.R. had split yet again, leaving the band down to a nearly all-instrumental core trio in Darryl Jenifer, Earl Hudon and Dr. Know. The three come together to create a slow-going reggae and ska-based album. With that in mind, it’s difficult not to see Jenifer (on bass) as the hero of this album, but really the group plays perfectly together, with Jenifer and Dr. Know doing most of the arrangements for both the new and covered songs (“I & I Survive” and “Gene Machine” both appear here.) This album is perfect for when you just need to chill out, maybe relax, study, and, certainly not do schedule-one narcotics to.
Ah, the ‘90s. The very end of history has been attained. And so has a brand new frontman for Bad Brains in the form of Israel Joseph I. With Joseph, the band took on another new sound. The screaming, wailing hardcore disruption of H.R. had been replaced with steady grooving, funk-infused hard-rock. On the surface, “Rise” is not dramatically different from a lot of other ‘90s rock albums. It’s just a bit better. Songs like “Love is the Answer” retain the band’s reggae spirit, while “Free” and “Hair” create an accessible new kind of rock sound for the band, and songs like “Coming in Numbers” and “Miss Freedom” harken back to the punk roots. This album is perfect for slipping back into a ‘90s frame of mind. Perfect for counting down the return of “King of the Hill,” “Frasier” and most likely, hantavirus.
Thirty years and eight albums since the original “Bad Brains,” “Into the Future” marks a kind of synthesis of everything the band had been playing with up to that point. The punk is abrasive, the funk is infectious, the guitar is utterly phenomenal, the bass and drums are delicious, the vocals are spot on. The “boyfriend” seems nice and the girls seem to have eaten their spaghetti and meatballs. The whole album has an ambitious playfulness to it, with song titles like “Popcorn” and “Rub a Dub Love.” A definite recommend. The fact that it’s this low on the list just shows that when this group is good, they’re very good.
A true comeback album for the ages. H.R., Daryl Jenifer, Dr. Know, and Earl Hudson are back in the studio together (under the eye of the Beastie Boys’ MCA) and the album sounds incredible. “Build a Nation” has drive, focus, thematic consistency, and energy for days. Like a research paper written by a teenage Ritalin addict. “Build a Nation” focuses heavily on the spiritual themes that the Bad Brains have been playing with since the beginning. Songs like “Jah People Make the World Go Round” and “Give Thanks and Praises” both abound with electric holiness in an incredibly catchy way. But the album also harkens back to the group’s early days with songs like “Let There Be Angels (Just Like You)” and “In the Beginning.”
If the self-titled debut is staticky, hissing and insane, “Rock For Light” is… well, it’s those things too. Of course. But it’s just a little bit less. It’s a bit calmer. A bit more polished. There’s a little bit more reggae on here and redone covers of the band’s earlier songs that, while a bit more tidy and engineered, still manage to hit pretty hard. This album also touches more prominently on the band’s Rastafarian background with songs like “I and I Survive” and “The Meek” both taking on a more reggae-heavy sound and delving directly into social concerns.
An influence on acts like Sublime and Rage Against the Machine, there are many interesting things about the third Bad Brains album. Not the least of which is that the title track was covered by Jeff Buckley, thus bridging the gap between hardcore punk fans and people who think that poetry counts as foreplay. “I Against I” also shows something new for the band. There’s a proto-’90s groove on tracks like “Re-Ignition” and “House of Suffering” that adds a hookiness that wasn’t there on the first two albums, and full-blown pop-rock tendencies on “She’s Calling You” and “Secret 77,” which is either great or terrible depending on what kind of punk you are.
The Alpha. The Omega. The absolute GOAT. Whether you’ve listened to any Bad Brains before today or you’re just clicking on this article out of a sense of bored curiosity, you’ve definitely seen the iconic “lightning striking the capitol building” cover art before. This album is nearly perfect. There’s a lot of excellent stuff on here with songs like “Attitude” and “F.V.K. (Fearless Vampire Killers)” feeling like a raging punk tornado, while more reggae-inflected songs like “Jah Calling” harken back to the band’s Rastafarian-roots. Mostly though, the songs are fast, they’re angry, and often H.R.’s antagonistic falsetto blends the lyrics into pure banshee-like wailing. Like a smoothie made of barbed wire. (
Okay, let’s face it. Ian Duncan is too self-involved to even care that a school shooting is taking place. He’ll already be home by the time the SWAT team arrives. But the more likely scenario is him not even being on campus due to a 3-day alcohol binge.
Buddy is that one guy on campus who, towards the end of the school year, appears out of nowhere and you ask yourself, “Has he been enrolled here this whole time?” He’s so forgettable that a campus shooter would walk right past him and not even realize he was there. If anything, Buddy’s looking to get shot just to fit in.
Nobody knows who inhabits the racially ambiguous, gray unitard-wearing, Human Being, but one thing is certain, due to his vision being obscured, he’ll knock himself out the moment he turns a corner.
Pierce is the type of person who would push a handicapped person out of the way to get himself to safety. In a school shooting situation he would do one of two things, he’ll either grab a gun and join the shooter or he’ll pay the gunman a million dollars to spare his life but on the condition he also gets to shoot one student of his choosing.
Sometimes authority figures can give the false illusion of safety and protection. That’s why if you were to run into Greendale School Board members Richie Countee and Carl Bladt, you should run the other way. They will only slow you down with their befuddled gaze when you try to warn them about the active shooter. They’ll assume you’re talking about alcohol and then ask you to point them in the direction of said “shots.”
Stopping the gunman would not be one of Star-Burns’ priorities. He’d take the opportunity to start looting the campus of any valuables. He’d break into lockers, offices, and probably even wallets off of dead classmates. Because of the optics of his crimes, he would probably be charged as an accessory to the gunman.
It’s generally a good rule of thumb to not put your trust in happy-go-lucky people because oftentimes they’re full of shit. Professor Whitman unironically repeats the phrase “Carpe Diem,” which means that the moment he’s staring death in the face, he will crumble like the glorified fortune cookie aphorism he pretends to subscribe to. There will be a lot of tears and little seizing of the day.
Elroy would be one of the first to flee campus. He would jump in his RV and skip town, never to return. He’ll vow to never step foot in a “white man’s town” ever again.
This German coward would be useless in this situation. He’ll use his two goons as a distraction to run away. That’s why you should never trust someone who plays foosball.
I have one rule I live by: Never trust a white guy in a dashiki. Especially one that’s repulsed by the Whoopi Goldberg classic “Ghost.” The only way Professor Holly would be of any use is if, for some strange reason, the gunman broke out in song and sang “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers.
Fake Moby and Dean Pelton impersonator, Faux-by, doesn’t have a mind of his own. If there’s nobody there to tell him what to do, he will freeze up and stand completely still, hoping people will mistake him for a house plant.
Despite being the Dean of Greendale Community College, Craig Pelton, will most likely lock himself in his office and scream until the loud noises stop. Only after the gunman is apprehended will he realize those fireworks he heard were actually an AR-15. His first thought will be how this affects Greendale’s reputation. His second thought is if Jeff Winger made it out unscathed.
Leonard has hit that point in life where nothing matters. He lives life as if there’s no tomorrow because, well, he’s old as shit. If you think he’s gonna give two fucks about a gunman storming Greendale, you got another thing coming. The most Leonard will muster is a middle finger in the air while muttering, “Up yours, nerd,” as he continues to eat his chicken fingers.
Sure, Koogler might be that cool teacher you brag to your friends about well into your late 30s who you have to continuously defend with phrases like, “Well, 2007 was a different time,” but unless you’re a beach blonde bombshell with “huge knockers” you better believe he won’t care about your fate.
Meghan has the perfect combination of mean girl energy and self-loathing. This would make anyone think she’d be a worthy adversary against an impotent school shooter, however, her easy capitulation to Abed’s trash talk means that she’s all bark and no bite.
Since Rich is exactly the type of person to hide a zombie bite, it’s obvious he’s always looking out for number one. He, undoubtedly, will use the nearest person as a human shield and then memorialize the poor soul as if he actually gave a shit about them.
Professor Cornwallis will be rather perturbed to fall victim to the failings of American gun regulation as he’s far too smart and British to be caught up in some little incel’s vengeance plot. He’ll remind everyone that the UK has very strict gun laws and has had only 2 school shootings since 1996.
There’s no question in my mind that Vaughn would be the first to approach the gunmen, hoping his charm is persuasive enough to disarm him. But, unfortunately, “Yo bro-chacho, let’s hug it out” is the best he can come up with. After, inevitably, getting shot he utters his last words: “This is so not tight.”
Actor and Greendale alumni, Luis Guzman, has enough star power to make a gunman briefly stop and gush over his performance in 2000’s “Traffic.” Luis will get a free pass to safety and you best believe he’s gonna take it.
Britta is known for being both pro-social justice and anti-establishment so she’s not afraid of telling the gunman like it is. She’ll equip herself with snide remarks about the gunman’s lack of female attention is due to deep seeded maternal issues, or, what she calls an “odysseus” complex. However, once she gets his attention she’ll quickly apologize before running away.
This corporate puppet has no clue how to act outside the bounds of his corpo-humanization handbook. He’ll be running around campus like a headless chicken, humming outdated Subway jingles and wondering out loud if Quiznos was behind this attack. Luckily for him, after the dust clears, Subway (the company) will likely settle out of court and pay him millions and millions of dollars.