Eric Celia, a fervent Blink-182 fan, recently found himself in a predicament that echoed his favorite band’s “Enema of the State” single “What’s My Age…
CRANFORD, N.J. — Local actuary Ken Dorfinger showed amazing self-restraint by leaving a significantly large piece of chicken as the last bite of his meal,…
Social media trends come and go so quickly it’s hard to know what the hell is cool anymore. When it comes to TikTok, entire memes…
NEW YORK — A new choose-your-own-adventure horror book intended specifically for individuals in their mid-thirties entitled “Halfway To the Grave” always results in the reader’s…
DURHAM, N.C. — Allegedly ill punk Tommy Donnelly has taken to his deathbed, which is also his roommate’s used futon, with only enough strength to…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local 22-year-old religious conservative Blake Howard revealed to a group of friends that he believed life began at “butt stuff,” sources who…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Maryanne del Fuego was admitted to the hospital for what turned out to be a panic attack caused by a densely…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local freelance videographer, and part-time ambient music composer, Cooper Mills is intensely contemplating the potential thematic and philosophical focus of his…
TRENTON, N,J. — Music, the auditory art form which has been a part of humanity since antiquity, issued an apology for reportedly “saving the life”…
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Local crust punk Lou “Canker Sore” Schultz revised his bucket list to include getting a disease named after him in an…
LEWISBURG, Pa. – 31-year-old Cole Geleski, who readily admits that his college years were the best time of his life, mercilessly made fun of an…
WEST HAVEN, Conn. — Local man Nick Gransby is doing surprisingly well for himself with a loving family and fulfilling career, despite having never left…
CHICAGO — Piss-drunk indie pop band Belle & Sebastian spent a raucous evening tidying their hotel room at the Radisson Blu Aqua while on a…
NEWPORT NEWS, Va. — Jenny Fitzsimmons allowed her husband Alfred to remove the enigmatic green ribbon she’s worn around her neck since the first day…
NEW YORK — An animatronic werewolf located in Leona’s Halloween Store known as Harold is reportedly tired of playing things safe and has recently become…