Social media trends come and go so quickly it’s hard to know what the hell is cool anymore. When it comes to TikTok, entire memes and trends will pass you by if you blink at the wrong time. Fortunately, our society’s need to commoditize and gamify every waking second of existence has allowed even the most mundane tasks to become a series of challenges and dares.
Making Small Talk with Your Neighbor
Try the Chit Chat Challenge. You’ve lived next to your neighbor for two years and still don’t know his name, so can you converse with them for more than three minutes? The hardest part is the phrases, “Nice weather we’re having” and “Did you catch the game last night?” are strictly forbidden. Bonus points if you can record the interaction without making it look like you’re about to run to the HOA and accuse them of stealing your mail.
Try and Look Cool Dancing at Your Second Cousin’s Wedding
Do you have what it takes to impress a room full of family members that you haven’t seen in a decade? This is more of a challenge for millennials who have no idea what artists the DJ is playing, so unless you plan on doing the “running man” for three hours straight you better bring your A-game.
Boiling a Pot of Water
There is a shocking number of legal adults who do not know how to boil water. In the name of all that is holy, it’s two fucking steps. Each day we are inching closer to midnight on the Idiocracy doomsday clock and may soon find ourselves wondering again if the sun revolves around the Earth. In the name of all that is holy just prove that you can make macaroni and cheese.
Taking a Nap Because You’re Tired, Not Because You’re Depressed
Everyone has failed this challenge. Don’t even bother, it doesn’t matter.
Driving Alone for 30 Minutes with No Music or Podcasts
Hey, remember being alone with your thoughts? Try recording yourself driving to work or whatever destination causes you the most stress without a podcast about dead white women or the same album you’re been listening to since you were 17. You might finally figure out how to get your life together, but there have been a few challengers who’ve tried this and gone insane. Remember: if you stare into the interstate, the interstate stares back.
Spend Less than $300 at the Grocery Store
Jesus once said that man cannot survive on bread alone, but that was before it cost $7 a loaf. Since it costs half a paycheck if you want produce not seasoned by pesticides, those who’ve answered the challenge have found nifty life hacks to stretch their budget. Spoiler alert: it’s shoplifting.