Eric Celia, a fervent Blink-182 fan, recently found himself in a predicament that echoed his favorite band’s “Enema of the State” single “What’s My Age Again?” Despite his best efforts, he was unable to recall how old he currently is.
After wowing the crowd at a local karaoke bar with his spot-on rendition of “I Miss You,” seamlessly alternating between Mark Hoppus and Tom DeLonge’s vocal parts, he attracted a woman’s attention in the audience.
However, Eric hit an unexpected snag when this woman, whom we will call “Josie” to protect her anonymity, approached him to learn more about him, including his age. Despite confidently remembering every lyric to every Blink song, he was drawing a blank. Was he 32 or 33? Or had he lost a decade entirely and was actually approaching his mid-40s? Or worse, mid-50s? The exact number eluded him, leaving him momentarily flustered.
Thinking on his feet, Eric managed to divert the conversation from his age-related amnesia.
“That was a close one. Thankfully, I could shift the focus by offering to recite ‘The Party Song’ from start to finish at my place—a proposal she couldn’t resist,” said Celia while searching for his drivers license. “I normally just calculate my age from the current year, but to be honest I am not really sure what year it is, either. I’ve been in a haze ever since Blink released ‘California’ and I still haven’t come out of it.”
Managing to avoid the calamity of admitting he had no degree of certainty regarding his exact age, he reflected on a similar recent incident.
“My buddy is always ranting about the government and Wall Street fat cats gaming the system, but I don’t have time for worrying about all that. I told him it’s just like Blink says: ‘corporate leaders, politicians, kids can’t vote, adults elect them.’ He was like ‘Dude, you have been able to vote since the second Clinton administration.’”
There are many competing theories as to why an aging Blink-182 fan could forget their age, but one psychologist feels like they cracked the code.
“If you are a middle-aged man who exclusively shops for shoes at Vans, specifically the Vans outlet store, it’s easy to forget you’re no longer 19. You look down and all your clothes look like they have for nearly 30 years, but then you look in the mirror and it’s a wrinkled stranger looking back at you,” said Emira Tostlenca Ph.D.
Realizing that perhaps he would live the rest of his life intermittently having no clue how old he was, he sighed “Well, I guess this is growing up.”