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Man Shouting “I Don’t Want To Be Here Anymore!” At Rise Against Show Not Requesting A Song

CHICAGO — Local man Ben Schneebly was heard shouting “I don’t want to be here anymore!” over and over again at a recent Rise Against show with no apparent intent of getting the band to play the song, concerned witnesses confirmed.

“Not sure what’s so hard to understand. It’s not like I’m yelling ‘Freebird’ I’m just letting everyone know that the show is a little packed, the venue smells, and my feet are starting to hurt,” said Schneebly. “I want to make it perfectly clear that this isn’t a cry for help, more like a declaration of intent. I’m not depressed or anything, it’s not like I’m planning on leaving here and driving my car straight into a quarry. I just really wanna beat the traffic out of here, so I’m listening with one foot out the door.”

Tim McIlrath, Rise Against frontman and alleged member of the domestic terrorist group “Nowhere Generation,” says he heard the man bellowing out between songs but didn’t know how to help.

“I feel for the guy, I often feel the same way after the fourth song. Most of the time I’d like to have a quiet night in, but I have to go scream at strangers,” said McIlrath. “I mean, we haven’t played that song in over a year because we didn’t want to send mixed messages to the crowd. It got to the point where fans thought we didn’t want to be around them specifically and it left everyone in a bad mood. We love playing live, we do, but a 15-20 minute set would be ideal so we can be in bed before midnight.”

Schneebly’s therapist Dr. Joy Smith graciously violated her confidentiality agreements to discuss her patient’s mental state.

“Ned has shown this behavior before, unfortunately,” Dr. Smith said, checking her notes on Schneebly’s Iliad-sized file. “He has confessed to me that while attending a BTBAM show, he couldn’t stop himself from exclaiming ‘More of myself to kill!’ He even stated in our first session back in 2012 that his reason for seeing me was his inability to see Every Time I Die without crying out ‘Home is where you hang yourself!’ Which, let’s be honest, they would have never played live. May they rest in peace.”

After the show, Schneebly could be seen taping cut-out letters from magazines to form an incomplete message that just read “I have a Chamber in the Cartridge and I’m Ready to Fall because nothing is Worth Dying For.”