LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Leading climate analysts at Purdue University are warning that global warming could cause Weezer’s Blue Album to be entirely red by 2035,…
LOS ANGELES – Ticketing giant Ticketmaster announced they will be tacking on a new “preemptive heatstroke treatment” fee to all concert tickets in the wake…
AMHERST, Mass. — Your friend once again asked if you plan to ever have children, like you’re not reeling with insane costs of living, an…
COLUMBUS, Ohio – Superhero and crusader for the environment Captain Planet is reportedly ready to throw in the towel on his quest to conserve nature’s…
WASHINGTON — A new study by climate scientists within the hardcore scene revealed the motherfuckers in the back will almost certainly be underwater by the…
Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man concerned with global warming. My name is Orlov von Maximoff, a former Romanian count, but you…
MILWAUKEE — Members of local thrash metal band Differentiator recently committed to reduce environmental harm by wearing white high top shoes that are certified fair…
By our current projections, there will be 9.8 billion people on the planet by 2050. With such exponential population growth and World War 3 just…
BROOK, Ind. – Research conducted at one of the nation’s largest landfill facilities showed that discarded Blues Traveler “Four” CDs make up over 70% of…
As the world’s climate changes, certain sacrifices must be made, but why should the burden fall on man alone? We’re already drinking out of cardboard…
Science nerds will tell you that climate change is an existential threat to our world, but more importantly, to our corporations. That being the case,…
There are so many things to hate about this entitled millennial generation, but nothing scorches my sky more than their addiction to technology. These ungrateful…
RUCKERSVILLE, Va. — Local man Camden Singh had his overall worldview and philosophy shattered then reformed no less than six times while using social media…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local activist and aging vegan Victor Gonzalez expressed his disappointment that the new generation of vegans have no interest in brutal videos…
BROWNSVILLE, Texas — Six-year-old Danny Crothers is reportedly continuing to discuss his future dreams with no regard to the fact that the planet won’t even…