Richard and Stefanie Reines’ Drive-Thru Records ruled the early-aughts Warped Tour world with such bands like Floridian pop-punk kings (A) New Found Glory, Philadelphia pop-punk princes The Starting Line, Orange County pop-rock warriors Hellogoodbye, and Temecula post-hardcore fighters via kicking and screaming Finch. These acts are way too huge to be underrated on any level, and your telltale hearts have broken sound and are wrong if you disagree. Below we list our top ten most underrated albums from DTR in alphabetical order, and you should buy, stream, wax poetic about, and troll your cousin Tula with a pierced septum that you refused to include in your MySpace Top Eight, while Tom sat proudly in the number one slot, despite the fact that you never will meet that champion amongst humans.
Allister “Before the Blackout” (2005)
Chicago’s Allister was one of the first bands to sign with DTR, and the band released their first three LPs there. The debut cult hit “Dead Ends and Girlfriends,” their sophomore lack of a slump saleswise “Last Stop Suburbia,” and the subject here, the four-piece’s third studio album “Before the Blackout.” While there is a plethora of lust online for the first two, we almost never read about “Before the Blackout” in any publication large or canceled, and that’s a low down dirty shame reminiscent of Keenan Ivory Wayans’ 1994 classic of the same name. Also, “Waiting” is a perfect opening track, and said song and more from this LP show that Allister is so much more than “Somewhere On Fullerton”. Sadly, the band split up three years after this record came out, but happily, they returned just three years later; three is a magic number.
The Benjamins “The Art Of Disappointment” (2001)
Wisconsin should be less known for Midwestern creep, Steven “I Graphically Harmed Cedric Bixler-Zavala’s Wife And Should Rot In The SHU” Hyde, and more known for possibly the most underrated band here, The Benjamins. Drive-Thru Records snagged The Benjamins after their debut EP and released the band’s first LP “The Art Of Disappointment” to more of a whimper than a bang. The proof is in the lack of pudding here, as streams for this one are still astronomically low on Spotify, and your little tin hearts will shine in a wonderful manner if you spin this record now. 2001 was a great year for rock with non-Drive Thru Records releases such as Fugazi’s “The Argument,” Andrew W.K.’s “I Get Wet,” Jimmy Eat World’s “Bleed American,” and Bow Wow’s “Doggy Bag,” and The Benjamins should’ve been on more year-end lists as well.
Halifax “The Inevitability of a Strange World” (2006)
A shift from mall punk to ‘80s metal showcases the ever-present nightmare that we live in a strange, strange, strange world, but Thousand Oaks, California’s Halifax wouldn’t have it any other way. The wackadoodle globalists also promised us tragedy by noticing said shift, and this LP, which is the band’s lone Drive-Thru Records full-length studio album known as “The Inevitability of a Strange World” landed at 130 on the Billboard 200, and at #1 on Billboard’s Top Heatseekers, surprising most people outside of Nova Scotia. Their/our revolution was literally televised, as the band was featured just one year before on MTV’s “The Real World: Austin” along with aforementioned labelmates Hellogoodbye, making 2006 a total “I Told You So” year for the band. Sadly Halifax wasn’t able to capture said momentum for eternity, as the band parted ways just four years later.
Hidden in Plain View “Life In Dreaming” (2005)
Hidden in Plain View released their debut album “Life In Dreaming” to a sea of underground praise but not mainstream acclaim. Pity, as this is one of the better post-hardcore releases from the aughts and we are not taking any questions on the matter. If you’re here, you likely heard this album’s opening track “Bleed For You,” which truly cuts like a band-aid, just one year prior to the release of “Life In Dreaming” on 2004’s also underrated compilation “Punk The Clock” featuring, wait for it, wait for it, various great bands to WATCH that sadly also didn’t explode outside of the punk rock world like Acceptance, Letter Kills, My American Heart, and Ritchie Valens.
Home Grown “Kings of Pop” (2002)
Whether you spell the band name as one word or two, Orange County’s Home Grown has a legacy that should last until much later than tomorrow, and we won’t forever and ever X infinity give up our love for this underrated by definition effort. Clearly, we’re not alone, as “Kings of Pop,” Home Grown’s third and only full-length album for Drive-Thru Records has many hardcore but not that many easycore fans. The band became a power trio for this one, which provided a solid blueprint for early-aughts pop-punk, and tightened their already stacked AF sound like a long, long rope that pulls tasty, tasty treats to all with tree fiddy, regardless of whether said eaters will kiss you, diss you, never fall in love with you, or eventually leave you like everyone else always does. However, the band split just two years later, with zero signs of a comeback.
I Am the Avalanche “Self-Titled” (2005)
Vinnie Caruana is a smart and prolific man always and forever. After the fall of the also underappreciated and yet-to-be-listed Long Island rock act The Movielife, Caruana capitalized on his former band’s rising yet stifled momentum, formed the punk rock I Am the Avalanche, and released their self-titled debut album in the fall of 2005. Vinnie wins the badass award for this ranking article, as his murderous green eyes front two symphonic bands listed here, and fans dead and gone happily took a beating in the name of this album’s twelve tracks. Honestly, their follow-up effort, “Avalanche United” is peak IATA, but it was released via a different label so forget we mentioned it.
Midtown “Living Well Is The Best Revenge” (2002)
Midtown was poised to climb to the heights of punk or “punk” if you’re feeling nasty like Janet Jackson but not J Lo peers like Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, Something Corporate, and Parliament with “Living Well Is The Best Revenge,” the band’s sophomore studio album. Despite its sonic and songwriting superiority to every track on their debut LP “Save the World, Lose the Girl” except “Just Rock and Roll,” the best revenge was that the band didn’t live THAT well despite their GQ clothes. Still, this eleven track banger of a record, which also features vocals from demigod Vinnie Caruana, has zero filler, many vegan seitan grillers, no tunes from Attila, or meh sequels featuring your friend and ours, Ben(jamin) Edward Meara Stiller. The band left DTR for Columbia Records for this album’s follow-up, “Forget What You Know,” but disbanded just one year later.
The Movielife “Forty Hour Train Back to Penn” (2003)
Fans of index finger-pointing aggressive crowdsurfing pop punk likely have lyrics from this album tattooed on their lower backs, but it’s actually a solid effort for non-elitists as well. Still, the band came to an abrupt end shortly after this one hit stores, in fact in that very year, and Movielife fans had to wait fourteen years for a follow-up via Rise Records, home to non-similar genre and non-peers in any creative way that doubles as metalcore STAHS Crown The Empire, Memphis May Fire, Kublai Khan, and Johnny Lawrence called “Cities In Search Of A Heart,” which might be the most “emo” album title of 2017 not called “Fall You Again”; moon blood can’t swim in a clogged heart or any of the great lakes except for Lake Superior… We’re still laughing ourselves to death from that dad joke.
Rx Bandits “Progress” (2001)
For some odd reason, Orange County’s Rx Bandits’ various follow-ups to “Progress” get way more public and private accolades than this one, even though we firmly believe that “The Resignation” and beyond wouldn’t have been possible had the band not bridged the gap between “Halfway Between Here and There” and endearingly weird yet extremely musical. “Progress” came out in 2001, not too long after the third wave/ska-punk world was lambasted, feared, critiqued, and put out to pasture, and the polarizing in the best way Rx Bandits brought a depth to said universe that was unheard, unseen, unfiltered, and unkempt prior. Anyone but you knows the truth about these fifteen tracks that frenetically challenge each listener to question the answers, turn the radio off, say hello to rockview, and in utero till the cows come home… And now the band is hipster-approved!
Steel Train “Trampoline” (2007)
Let’s end this piece with a firecracker take: Before Taylor Swift, fun., Bleachers, and see-saws covered in Hubba Bubba Original Bubble Tape and pre-cum, Sports & Arts Center at Island Lake alumnus Jack “I Had A Heavy Hand In All Recorded Music” Antonoff fronted a band called Steel Train that put the “busk” in busking, and “trust” in trust fund. While the band went out with a bang via their non-DTR self-titled LP, 2007’s “Trampoline” is without question their most superior album, and easily a top ten Drive-Thru Records release. If you disagree, ask the nepo baby cast of “Girls,” but not their unlikable and deplorable characters like Hannah Horvath; these jerks are not women that we belong to. Also, “Trampoline” is the least Mark Trombino of all Trombino productions, and the previously mentioned Finch fools and TSL loons will agree at any hour, unless it is 2:00.
Looking like Danzig probably isn’t going to do you a lot of favors if you’re looking to climb the corporate ladder. But if you’re looking to level up through class ranks, you’re in luck. You know who’s willing to pay for their hobby, despite what your LinkedIn profile picture looks like? Dungeon Masters who probably look like you anyway.
Or just go straight to being a Dungeon Master. You can even wear a cloak if you want to. You can do voices, right? We think you should do voices. What’s the difference between a troll and an elf? Work it out.
You know how to totally avoid judgment of your appearance? Put on a full-body HAZMAT suit. And with all of the spooky paraphernalia you’ve been collecting your whole life, dealing with hazardous waste will be a cakewalk. As a bonus, they’ll probably let you keep any horrifying thing you find.
Fine, “Cryptozoologist,” nerd. Whatever you call it, the weirder you look the better. Now get out there and tell that camera why you missed this elusive beast again!
Think the eerie Newport mansions, where every opulent hallway and room is shrouded in haunting melancholy. The Gothic spires and ominous shadows cast by the grand chandeliers make you feel right at home. As a bonus, everyone knows that thick jet-black hair means you are immune to ghosts.
A.K.A. Funeral Home Employee. We don’t think you’re up for the director title just yet. Plus, no one’s looking at you. The families are much more focused on the grief and the exorbitant amount you are charging for a casket. We just can’t believe they picked a KISS casket over an Official Original Misfits™ one.
Dead men tell no tales and dead animals absolutely don’t judge. Even if you form their cute little inanimate faces into kind of a judgy frown, you fucking weirdo. Who else can turn a hobby of stuffing the once-living into a career of perpetual still life? Only a face not even a mother would give a job to.
If you can deal with the smell, you’re in! No questions asked. Maybe besides… What do you normally do that this doesn’t bother you? As you mop up the remnants of someone’s last bad day, remember, you’re the one who never learned to read a tab.
Yes, more suit stuff. But hey, at least you’re the center of attention this time, even if it’s the outfit getting all the laughs. Just watch out, the last guy got his eyes gouged out by a child trying to reach into the dinosaur’s mouth.
You don’t even have to do anything real! Just buy a machine that beeps, and then yell “apparition” or something from time to time. And who knows? With your spooky aura, maybe some real spirits will show up, and you’ll be back on a lesser History Channel.
You know the kind of place. Maybe it’s called “Duke’s” or something. They have a greaser type, a punk, a hipster. You might have to grow a beard but you’ll make it work. You’ll get along well with the lady next to you who is still trying to explain the moral ambiguity of her serial killer portrait sleeve. And obviously, you’ll be known for crafting perfect devilocks.
This one is simple. You get to wear a big Crocodile Dundee hat, and it pretty much covers your face.
Another easy one. People are looking at the falcon. You’re not the star of this show, bud.
The need for N64s is back, and you’re ready to fill that market gap. You might be worried about having to interact with people when dropping off packages at the post office, but after learning about Stamps.com on your favorite D&D Podcast, you can avoid the small talk entirely. It’s just you and Mario from here on out.
Put that spooky look to the test. Buy a hauntingly distinctive mansion in Bangor, ME and lock yourself away until you’ve produced the next Dreamcatcher. We’ve never read Dreamcatcher actually, is it any good?
You’ve got a face for radio and a voice for the void. Just make that 80th Squarespace ad read sound a little more natural, please.
Certainly, the mask helps. And the bees don’t care about your face, they’re more interested in your fear.
Sorry if this is so obvious but we’re just trying to be helpful. They’ll even compliment you on your weird Jack Skellington tattoo that you got when you were 15 and asked a man in a dirty garage to trace from a picture of Pete Wentz.
The humans are all at work anyway. Just hope a man that looked like Danzig didn’t abandon this scared rescue dog you’re about to pick up.
Mother! Actually, keeping her in the dark for life is a pretty good idea. A mother needs a dark wet area to flourish, so keep it healthy and you’ve got a gut-healthy good business in your closet. Sell it spiked on the side for some extra cash.
We’re saying get a job as the guy who buys pig blood for Rob Zombie movies. It’s not about who you are, it’s about how real the gore looks. And maybe how cheap you can get a gallon of… something’s blood.
The four-piece’s final studio album was a solid swan song but sadly one record had to be listed in the dreaded lowest position, and this moon with a curious amount of loopholes loses. Still, like all Fountains of Wayne LPs, this one is awesome, and it’s, of course, critically acclaimed. Admittedly a little folkier than their previous four LPs, likely inspired by their prior acoustic rock and roll tours, “Sky Full Of Holes” comes in at number five mostly because it had the least amount of replay spins in the band’s concise catalog that is not sponsored by Victoria’s Secret but endorsed by High Times. This makes sense because all rockers eventually grow fold!
Hip-hop, country music, and post-grunge squall, yep, we said squall, can take a partial summer vacation, as we’re applying some number forty-five sunblock and putting up a sign saying, “Gone fishing for power pop!”: 2007 was a superb year for pop-rock or whatever a California sex lawyer wants to call it with Jimmy Eat World’s underrated “Chase This Light” LP, Mae’s also underrated “Singularity” record, Say Anything’s tad long but still tasty “In Defense of the Genre,” and “The Big Doe Rehab” from klezmer mastermind Ghostface Killah. However, Fountains of Wayne’s fourth album “Traffic and Weather” got lost in a miserable combo of bad LA traffic and worse Woodland Hills weather. Still, “Maureen” is one of the band’s catchiest, and we’re not tipping over any seatbacks/tray tables for saying such. We want you around so please read below for our takes on the group’s first three.
As you know, you only get one chance to make a debut record. The band’s self-titled offering, is a solid 90s pop-rock record and a debut that sets the smart and well-constructed tone for the band’s following four LPs. Barbara H., Barbara Streisand, Barbara Bush, and the script from Pamela Anderson’s Nobel prize-winning “Barbed Wire” must be proud of FOW for starting things off in style, elegantly showcasing that the band has got a flair for the dramatics/department store stylings.
We know that you won’t admit that you’re here because of the band’s biggest hit by a millennium and this album’s amazing single “Stacy’s Mom,” but we know the truth about you, your family, your lack of friends, and your lack of taste about all things life. Anyway, “Welcome Interstate Managers” opens with Fountains of Wayne’s best song “Mexican Wine,” and if you haven’t heard such, we implore you to stop reading this ranking piece right now and take a few minutes out of your non-busy schedules to spin it. If you previously heard said track, you’re in the oh-so-cool club, but if you disagree with our take on the track, you’re not only dead to us, but you deserve to rot in a dump. Also, you may have a Napster version of “Stacy’s Mom” incorrectly tagged as Bowling for Soup.
We once read in an inferior publication that “Utopia Parkway,” Fountains of Wayne’s only “no skip” studio album was endorsed by Sir Elton “I Am Not Billy Joel” John, and you should totally fact check us, because once you do, you will learn that Reginald actually phoned the band to sing its praises. Badass. While this album was both a grower and a shower sales size, its quirky single “Denise” which references the artist formerly known as Puff Daddy, was a minor hit for fans of life. Overall, “Utopia Parkway” is far from a sophomore slump, and the band metaphorically created an exciting laser show for all but antisemite Roger “Pink Floyd Now Has A Shitstain On Their Sonic Legacy” Waters with this record. We hope that several of its songs become prom themes for eternity and that you have a good day.
Sometimes all you need to deter a potential attacker or Disney fan is to set strong verbal boundaries. Project confidence and be clear on your intent. Let them know right away they picked the wrong victim to talk mouse with.
Another thing that can scare an attacker off is attention. Wave your arms around and loudly tell everyone around you “Hey everybody! This guy just said ‘The magic of Disney’ to me sincerely! He wants to know my top 3 princesses, help!” With any luck, the potential Disney adult will crack under the heat and flee to a dark alley where they belong.
Legs straight, toes pointing forward, feet shoulder-width apart. Hold your arms in front of your body, with closed fists and elbows slightly bent. Let your attacker know you’re ready to do whatever is necessary should they try to talk Disney at you.
Even if you’re confident you can take your opponent, they’re bound to get in a few annoying lines of creepy corporate worship before you neutralize them. Always avoid conflict if you can. Distract them by pointing behind them and saying “Is that Prince Eric?” then become one with the shadows.
Research has shown that even an adult who watches old episodes of “Zack & Cody” has enough cognitive activity to be deterred by blunt strikes to the chin. It’s sort of like punching a shark. It doesn’t do much damage, but they’ll instinctively swim off for an easier one-sided conversation about Splash Mountain.
If you’ve ever swung a hammer you can land this blow, and let your would-be conversation hijacker know that they’re in for a whole new world of pain if they don’t shut up about the benefits of season passes to “the kingdom.”
Use your cunning. Tell the Disney adult that there simply isn’t enough room for your Disney talk style here. Point to a small rowboat off the pier, and suggest taking it to a small island where there is more room. Once they get in the boat, push it adrift. Hand the rope over to a pack of vengeful children who will delight in taunting a grown adult who happily shells out $300 for their own lightsaber.
If your opponent can’t see, they can’t access their photo album and prove to you that they have in fact met every legacy character at both Orlando and Anaheim.
In a street Disney adult situation, there is rarely time to think. Just bash the hardest part of your body into the softest spot on theirs you can find and run.
If you’re starting from the outside you can recruit your abdominals to give that elbow strike some extra power. They’ll be on the ground faster than you can say “You’re talking about a company that banned ‘ethnic’ hairstyles for their employees until like 2 years ago, stop loving them.”
Most Disney adults are also Harry Potter fans, and this fake-out move exploits that. Casually mention the franchise, and just before they tell you which house they’re in, hit them with “Don’t you think it’s troubling to support a property created by a transphobic TERF like JK Rowling?” They’ll short-circuit like a robot trying to solve a riddle. Just watch out for the sparks.
When you’re in a corner and someone is in your personal space praising CGI-laden live-action remakes of animated classics, there’s no time to think. You’re going to want to strike them with as much force as possible as fast as possible. A quick knee strike to the abdomen should incapacitate your corporate shill attacker long enough for you to run away and live happily ever after.
You’re enjoying a coffee at a cafe with a rainbow flag out front. You think you’re in a safe space. You’re approached by someone in a well-cultivated thrift shop garb and a “them/they” pin on the lapel of their coat. “What could go wrong?” you think. Suddenly, they ask how many times you’ve seen the latest movie by Disney, a company that shies away from making characters openly gay so that their films sell better in China. The push kick is your ticket to some much-needed distance between you and whatever the hell that’s all about.
Some people call Disney a cult and accuse their fans of being lemmings who would blindly jump off a cliff at the company’s behest. This is categorically false. Lemmings do not jump off cliffs. That is a myth created by the 1958 Disney nature documentary “White Wilderness” in which filmmakers threw lemmings off of a cliff and edited the footage to make it look like they jumped—that’s fucking true. If you’re cornered by someone who can turn a blind eye to that because the Lion King soundtrack “slaps,” you’re going to want them completely incapacitated as fast as possible, so go with a rear naked choke if you can pull it off.
You accidentally roll your eyes at the mention of the Marvel Cinematic Universe in front of the wrong person. Suddenly they’re an inch away from you demanding you name a more compelling villain than Thanos, the purple alien. Here are two more compelling villains for you: a quick knee to the groin and a fast getaway!