So our show had zero people at it, and I mean zero. Even the bartenders left after they watched us smack our guitar cases against…
A relationship has been confirmed as “officially over” when a woman robbed her former lover at gunpoint. This is a repeat offender who has pillaged…
It was unmistakably Eric Andre ordering a Chablis on the rocks next to me at the bar. I’m a pretty big comedy fan (name a…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local dude Grant Brentfield wouldn’t shut the hell up about being brutally attacked with a knife just a few moments ago, confirmed…
NEW YORK — The New York City Police Department unveiled a new AI surveillance program that promised to help them arrest the wrong guy 70%…
FOLSOM, Calif. — Country singer Carlson Swagger brought his cowboy bootlickin’ brand of lawful country music to Folsom Prison today where he performed only for…
Hi Sweetie, I found some recipes I think you’ll really love. I know you said you don’t eat meat or fish anymore, so I found…
Rent was due and I needed cash fast. What was I to do? Doordashing doesn’t get me much, neither does driving for a ride-share service.…
Hey guys, first off I have to thank you for your patience in waiting for this update. After I broke into Area 51 to find…
NEW YORK — Eric Trump continually derailed the proceedings in the $250 million fraud case against the Trump family and their company when he took…
PORTLAND, Maine — Police were forced to drop all charges against local metalhead Bryant Newman after Newman was able to use the shirt he purchased…
We all know the most popular thing on the internet is pornography. We all love it, but trailing right behind porn in popularity are tales…
NEW YORK — A Manhattan grand jury voted to indict Donald Trump on over 30 charges which forced millions of Americans to google “what does…
Like many of you, I used to sit in my drab apartment and dream of moving to Europe, the land of affordable train travel, relaxed…
People of this bank listen up, ’cause I got something to say. The state of the world is chaotic right now. We’re all facing a…