The Perfect Crime? Band That Performed in Front of Zero People Telling Everyone It Went Great
So our show had zero people at it, and I mean zero. Even the bartenders left after they watched us…
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Alec Walker
10 stories found
Guy Who Works Out to Prep for Apocalypse Really Hoping for Rowing-Centric New Order
CHARLESTON, S.C. — Local gym rat and self-proclaimed doomsday prepper Brock Crocker is really hoping that the next new world…
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How To Accept That Your Previous Rock Bottom Is Very Much the New Baseline
Are you someone who thinks your life can't get any worse? Did you hijack a parade float and drive it…
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Crust Punk Siphons Gas for the Flavor
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Crust Punk Jonas “Spleege” Johnson was recently released from county jail after explaining to authorities he…
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Local Show Downgraded to Band Meeting
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A local show headlined by The Jesters of the Information Age was downgraded to a standard band…
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Dear Diary: I Thought Journaling Was Supposed to Help but All It Does Is Catalogue My Failures
I met with my therapist today. He said I should start to see the benefits of my journaling soon, but…
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How To Tell Your Friends You Love Them Without Sounding Like You’re About To Kill Yourself
Every time I tell my friends I love them, they don’t say it back. They just say, “Are you ok?”…
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Metal Singer Practices Screaming Simply By Trying To Have Normal Conversation In A Bar
SALT LAKE CITY — Local Metal Singer Caleb Blackburn recently found that the secret to honing his screaming skills is…
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Funeral Ruined by Creepy Guy Just Lying There
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local community members attending a nearby funeral reported the mood of the event was a bit sour…
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Opinion: I’ll Use My PTO However I Damn Well Please, Pending Manager Approval of Course
So, I work at this awesome place. Free insurance that’s not accepted at any reputable health care provider, an excellent…
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