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Crust Punk Candidate Vows to Decrease Jobs

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Crust-punk presidential candidate Leo “Swamp” Marsh revealed plans today to slash employment opportunities during an impassioned campaign speech held in vacant hotel…

The Mooch Breaks White House Speed Run Record

WASHINGTON — Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only ten days on the job,…

Trump Bans Foreigner

WASHINGTON — President Trump signed a new executive order earlier today, banning Foreigner from the United States, White House sources confirmed. Dismissing such hits as…

Trump to Begin Series of Dumpster Fireside Chats

WASHINGTON — President Trump announced earlier today his plan to circumvent traditional media outlets with a series of dumpster fireside chats beginning this Spring, hoping…