LAS VEGAS — Pop punk fan and amateur blackjack player Devin Suggs has fallen into debt after instinctively hitting on hands of 15, disgusted sources…
DENVER — Local Real Estate Agent and mother of four, Sharon Smithson, struggled to find the proper emotions at the unveiling of her youngest son’s…
NEW CASTLE, Del. — An unnamed man was arrested and taken into custody under the suspicion of “potentially having committed any heinous, violent act imaginable”…
LANCASTER, N.H. — A local historian of punk rock recently unearthed incontrovertible evidence that GG Allin’s full name was actually Gilmore Girls Allin, sources who…
Is this some kind of sick joke? After another fun night of delinquency I woke up this afternoon to stroll down my neighborhood only to…
Graffiti is art. Period. It’s a wonderful form of creative expression that brings much needed life to the sterile walls and boring blocks of apartments…
Hey, thanks for agreeing to meet with me in this shadowy parking garage. Okay, so before I can buy a ticket to your show, I…
Charcuterie boards have certainly had a surge in popularity lately, and it’s easy to see why! The mouthwatering variety of salty meats, decadent cheeses (drool),…
LOS ANGELES — MasterClass released a five-hour course on circumventing manslaughter charges taught by legendary filmmaker, and director of “The Twilight Zone” movie segment which…
LOS ANGELES — Former precocious one-year-old and current convicted felon on parole Tommy Pickles, now 31, allegedly muttered to himself “a baby’s gotta do what…
WASHINGTON — Onlookers at the traditional Thanksgiving White House turkey pardoning ceremony were left unsurprised today after President Trump attempted to sneak his own name…
HOLLYWOOD — McDonald’s announced yesterday the launch of a new fast food cinematic universe, starting with a ‘Hamburglar’ origin movie starring Timothée Chalamet in the…
WASHINGTON — President Trump ironically announced earlier this week that he would be a “law and order” president, despite a lengthy history of criminality, sources…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A fuzzy little punk roommate known only as “Banjo” twitched adorably in his sleep yesterday, presumably dreaming that he was running away…