Punk Jesus Turns Water Into Ramen April 20, 2025 NEW YORK — Local punk rocker and present-day messiah, Lenny “Resin” Jackson stunned the masses crashing at his squat by… Read More →
ICE Agent’s Wife Hoping Her Family Gets Torn Apart Next April 1, 2025 TUCSON, Ariz. — A local ICE agent’s wife Karen Wilkins is really hoping her own family gets torn apart, after… Read More →
Dave Mustaine Urges Trump to Outlaw Bands Firing Their Best Guitarist March 31, 2025 WASHINGTON — Megadeth frontman Dave Mustaine is petitioning the Trump administration to institute a new law to prevent bands from… Read More →
Tense Moment as “Used to Skate” Guy Comes Face to Face With “Used to Box” Guy in Employee Breakroom March 25, 2025 PORTLAND, Ore. — A routine lunch break turned into an unexpected battle of past glory Tuesday afternoon when Jake “Used… Read More →
Kid Shocked by How Much Dad Cries in the Bathroom on Take Your Child to Work Day March 7, 2025 CHICAGO — Local 10-year-old Jake Marshall got a surprising glimpse into adulthood during Take Your Child to Work Day when… Read More →
I Remember When This Chippendales Job Wasn’t Just About Money — It Was About the Dick March 5, 2025 Back in my day, being a Chippendales dancer meant something. It wasn’t just a paycheck, a gig to pay for… Read More →
Local Cops Battle for Night Off to Attend Upcoming Five Finger Death Punch Concert December 1, 2024 TALLAHASSEE, Tenn. — The Tallahassee Police Department is in chaos due to nearly every officer requesting time off to attend… Read More →
Take It From Me: Removing Two Ribs Doesn’t Work November 17, 2024 Alright, let’s get right to it. You know the rumor we’ve heard since the playgrounds at catholic school— I call… Read More →
15 Spooky Season Bands That You Can Serenade Your Goth Partner With While Grave Robbing That Aren’t the Misfits October 10, 2024 So, you're out with your goth partner on a crisp autumn night, spade in one hand and their cold, beautifully… Read More →
Guidance Counselor Suggests Students Check Out His Ska Band September 27, 2024 PITTSBURGH — Greenwood High School Guidance Counselor Ben Harkins is facing allegations of promoting his newly formed ska band to… Read More →