Shit: The Bride and Groom Are Barefoot for Some Reason
Why the fuck are the bride and groom barefoot? What the hell is this supposed to be about? Some sort…
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Ryan Danley — Page 3
84 stories found
World Wide Grit Shortage Expected to Halt Hollywood Reboots
LOS ANGELES — Producers and directors tasked with creating a new batch of reboots were left scrambling to find new…
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Mom Really Trying To Feel Honored By Giant Neck Tattoo
DENVER — Local Real Estate Agent and mother of four, Sharon Smithson, struggled to find the proper emotions at the…
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Aerosmith Returns To Boston Roots By Drunkenly Yelling Racial Slurs At Crowd
BOSTON — Local crowds rejoiced as legendary hometown rockers Aerosmith showed their Boston pride by performing a set filled with…
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‘Friend Zoned’ Guy Using Friend Kind Of Liberally
DENVER — Local cryptocurrency trader, Evan Silver, pushed the limits of the definition of ‘friend' when discussing a current relationship…
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Metal Guy Only Four Cinder Blocks Away From Completing Living Room Set
PHOENIX — Local Metalhead Josh Gunderson beamed with pride after realizing he is very close to owning a living room…
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You’d Think the Tragic Death of Our Teammate Would Be the Perfect Rallying Point To Get Us To Win the Big Game, but Here We Are
We lost our star wide receiver Brandon Little in a terrible accident earlier this month, and the team was in…
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Apple TV Officially Changes Name To “The One That Ted Lasso Is On”
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Executives at Apple TV responded to “an overwhelming amount of customer demands” by announcing that their network…
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Fully Furnished Punk House Comes With Guy Who Can’t Pay His Part Of The Rent
SEATTLE — A local property management company announced they will begin offering fully furnished punk houses which will include a…
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Murderous Inbred Rural Family Tired Of Negative Portrayals In Horror
SEAGRAVES, Texas — Local machete-wielding family of murderous butchers, the Fletchers, are rallying against Hollywood’s constant belittling of their macabre…
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