Hans Christian Andersen once said that “where words end, music speaks.” Well, we just got done talking with your audio library, and let’s just say it didn’t ‘speak’ too highly of your taste. You might be upset to hear that your favorite music is openly talking shit about you to strangers, but we recommend taking the feedback as an opportunity to improve. Here are some of our favorite tracks this week that will help you put your music collection in its fucking place. (Listen along to the ever-expanding playlist)
Marnie Stern “Plain Speak”
While you may have seen a steady decline in your motor skills and dexterity over the past ten years, Marnie Stern has only been sharpening hers. Her legendary art-punk guitar theatrics have returned and are set to destroy everything in their path on the new single ‘Plain Speak.’ Along with the excellently disorienting track, Stern has also announced a new LP, ‘The Comeback Kid,’ which is her first since 2013’s ‘The Chronicles of Marnia.’ Although the track’s dizzying production won’t suddenly inject you with the youth you held a decade ago, its overarching theme of moving forward will remind you that it’s never too late to try. Failing that, at least you will have listened to something more recent than your early aughts playlist.
Taking Back Sunday “S’old”
We wouldn’t fault you for thinking Taking Back Sunday is ‘so last summer,’ but considering your recent play history it’s likely you think their debut album literally came out this summer. It’s time to live in the now. TBS has just announced their first album in seven years, ‘152.’ While the lyrical content of their newest single ‘S’old’ warns listeners about their inevitable aging process, the band, with their newly synth-driven and dynamic arrangements, has never sounded fresher. If you want to hold a similar designation when an ill-advised friend hands you the aux cord, you should consider keeping this one in the rotation.
Katy Kirby “Cubic Zirconia”
Nashville’s Katy Kirby just released her first single since her widely acclaimed 2021 debut album ‘Cool Dry Place.’ ‘Cubic Zirconia’ is a gorgeous and endearing slice of indie-rock heaven, and it espouses the accouterments and aesthetic choices of a fresh love interest. Though Kirby’s conversational singing style will make you feel like the direct subject of the song, a quick glance in the mirror will provide the reality check needed to appreciate the song from a proper outside perspective.
Jeff Rosenstock “FUTURE IS DUMB”
‘HELLMODE’ is finally here, and holy hell is it a mode. Jeff Rosenstock’s sixth solo outing finds the songwriter in a much more pensive and introspective headspace than we’re used to hearing, probably because of the end of the world or something. Album highlight ‘FUTURE IS DUMB’ brings the overarching apocalyptic anxiety of the record to a head, ending in a glorious anthemic shout-along refrain that is indicative of Rosenstock’s signature style, which has been more than perfected here. The song asks if we ‘still dream of tomorrow.’ If this record still exists then, we suppose our answer is ‘yes.’
Guided By Voices “Let’s Ride”
In honor of their 40th year as a band, Dayton, Ohio’s DIY legends Guided By Voices finally made their debut EP ‘Forever Since Breakfast’ available on streaming platforms. Superfans – read, ‘nerds’ – have circulated the record since its release, but this is the first time it has been made widely available to the public. Those new to the release will be pleasantly surprised to hear how polished and pristine the tracks still sound nearly half a century after their inception. ‘Let’s Ride’ in particular showcases the songwriting bedrock upon which Robert Pollard would later build his indie empire.
New releases are important to maintaining an edgy taste, but having a stacked and varied arsenal of classics is also essential to lording your preferences over casual listeners. We don’t want you looking like a dweeb, so here are a few of our staff’s tried and true classic jams to help balance the scales.
Iron Maiden “Fear of the Dark”
It’s already happening. The sun is setting earlier each day, thrusting our fragile psyches into the unforgiving darkness of night. Soon, we will be lucky to see the sun at all. Our managing editor has been prepping the office with therapy lamps and blasting Iron Maiden’s ‘Fear of the Dark’ on a near-constant loop. When we remind her that we still have a few weeks of sunshine left, she hisses at us and says our ‘time was up before we were even born.’
Sidney Gish “Impostor Syndrome”
You might think of our writing staff as impenetrable fortresses of confidence and vigor. Just like regular humans, though, we all have our bad days. Constantly churning out the top-quality content you have come to know from us can put a lot of pressure on a person. It’s only natural to feel a bit less than from time to time. Fortunately, Sydney Gish released the perfect anthem for these few and far-between moments. If it helps us through, we’d venture to guess you are in desperate need of it, so have at it.
At the Drive-In “Extracurricular”
While many are excited that the Mars Volta reunited last year and have shown no signs of breaking up since, one of our writers is less than pumped. According to him the Mars Volta are just a ‘pretentious version of At The Drive-In that people pretend to like to feel smarter than other people.’ In our opinion, it’s not really the band’s fault that our writer can’t handle mixed time signatures, be we digress. We’re not going to pretend we don’t secretly enjoy it when he blasts this song every time the Mars Volta is mentioned in the writer’s room.
1723: Johann Sebastian Bach Awakens in Tub of Ice With Kidney Missing
1976: Rob Halford Wins Bet With Rest of Judas Priest
1977: Steven Tyler Founds The Steven Tyler Finishing School for Little Ladies
1980: Einstürzende Neubauten Discovers Their Signature Sound
1981: AC/DC’s Brian Johnson Explains “You Shook Me All Night Long” is Actually a Subtle Nod to Intercourse
1983: Embarrassed Henry Rollins Forced To Perform in Gym Shorts After Clothes Stolen From Laundromat
1984: Sammy Hagar Pens “I Can’t Drive 55”
1988: Several Members of The California Raisins Form Hardcore Side Project
1997: My Bloody Valentine’s Kevin Shields Files 1992 Taxes
2001: CG Cover Model from Creed’s Human Clay Cast in The Mummy Returns
Sound the alarm: “And Their Name Was Treason,” A Day to Remember’s debut studio album which was recorded by producer/songwriter Andrew Wade in his bedroom, and sounds like it in a non-endearing way, was released via Valdosta, Georgia’s Indianola Records in 2005. The record is a solid intro to the band before they blew up, but is easily their worst LP. Basically, if looks could kill, this record wouldn’t. Heartless? Maybe. At least the band used the word “Their” properly in this album title! Anyway, the re-issued and re-recorded version of “And Their Name Was Treason” known as “Old Record,” which came out on Chicago’s legendary to some and vilified to others label Victory Records in 2008, is a slightly better representation of the band, but that’s about it, folks. A second glance would sadly maintain the same position and a third will inspire and perspire rebellion.
We’re sorry that 2021’s “You’re Welcome,” ADTR’s universally panned effort by all except for your deceptively fuck-you-money wealthy yet morbidly obese great aunt with Foie gras breath in Boca Raton, isn’t listed last on this list, but it truly isn’t half as bad as everyone makes it out to be. This piece of wax and plastic came out five years after its predecessor “Bad Vibrations,” and eventually got permanently plastered on the average Warped Tour kid’s “meh” list. Still, there are some bangers here, especially in the one-two punch start of tracks one and two, but is overall quite disjointed and flows like red wine which isn’t fine. Hopefully their next full-length is less than five years away from now, and becomes everything we need for a re-entry to a more happy and productive existence.
“Lawsuits and Hand Grenades” could be the name of a Green Day B-Side that never comes to fruition due to its conflict of interest title argument with another “21st Century Breakdown” track, but it’s definitely a solid four-word document metaphor for where the band A Day to Remember were at ten-plus years ago when they started work on album #5, “Common Courtesy,” which coincidentally or not-so-coincidentally is listed fifth here; give us five. While we won’t go into its courteous yet gory details that inspired an east fall of more than enough violence to shake a skaff at, we can safely say that 2013’s “Common Courtesy” is without question the first LP to be listed that is completely solid front-to-back. You’re utterly shelnutts if you disagree, but we know that you wiser-than-none jerkoffs will even disagree with something you agree with. You know deep down that our resentment is justified.
First of all: Few vocalists can pull off sweet sweetness and gruff grufferson like ADTR frontman Jeremy McKinnon, and it needed to be said SOMEWHERE. Second of all: This is the band’s best post-2010 LP despite the low-quality gyrations that its album title suggests, and features just as much sugar as it does Limburger cheese. Also, this entry debuted at #2 on the Billboard 200 Chart, which is quite an astonishing feat for even the neckiest of neckbeards. There are so many good songs on this album, and as evidenced in our “play it again” section below, but “Paranoia” is one that should be further highlighted like the color of the sun, as it will likely permeate every single A Day to Remember setlist moving forward.
Here’s to the past: For the remaining three entries here there are no “skip it” tracks. None. Now we’re going to show YOU the ropes: Basically, not only is 2007’s “For Those Who Have Heart” a now-classic in the rock world, but it is the band’s first non-mid record, which may sound like we have cold hearts, but it is actually a sincere compliment! To quote Olympic gold medalist with a broken freakin’ neck and former WWE Champion Kurt Angle, “It’s true!” FYI: The band’s fun “Since U Been Gone” Adam Lambert cover, which was featured on both the re-released version of this LP and on 2010’s “Attack of the Killer B-Sides” EP likely exposed many to this band, especially given the fact that it seemed to be literally sponsored by Fuse in the late-aughts. Anyway, A Day to Remember managed to make their next two albums rock even harder!
2nd doesn’t suck: 2010’s “What Separates Me From You” is a short, succinct, and powerful ten-song aggressive LP statement containing one of A Day to Remember’s most loved and infectious as hell singles “All I Want,” and a beautiful album cover that would make J. Paul Getty smile. While that particular tune is good with a capital “G,” there are several other tracks here that are even better with a capital “B”! To put it “B” for bluntly, this is ADTR’s most consistently catchy album, which doesn’t always equate to good, but it does here, and has replay value thirteen years later, showcasing the band’s love for Bar/Bat Mitzvahs. Speaking of Stars of David, this record went gold, a huge accomplishment, and that’s no four-letter lie in the post-Napster era. We love said color, as evidenced by this section and the one referencing the Percocet King of kings.
Along with departing smiley and tatted upper region guitarist with a heart of GOLD Tom Denney, A Day to Remember’s perfect LP “Homesick” ended the aughts in style, despite everyone’s goofy-as-sin graphic t-shirts at the time. Still, we believe that 2009’s “Homesick” is when A Day to Remember truly arrived and they took zero prisoners from track one through twelve. As we hysterically displayed at the top of this section, there are few albums with better openers than “The Downfall of Us All,” and Gucci gang vocals make everything better, unless they don’t. Don’t disrespect your surroundings, as that is not considerate, but please post happy comments on our socials letting us know that we’re right about this winning slot. You already know what you are, but we’d love your ardent positivity to permeate the airwaves and internet like it always does! !
Joey Cape from Lagwagon is a prolific and talented individual. Obviously, his primary project is too large of an entity to get praise here, but Cape’s alternative-rock-leaning Bad Astronaut is truly BADass, and released their first LP “Acrophobe” via Fat Wreck Chords’ subsidiary label Honest Don’s Records. HDR albums get a lot of love in this piece, but BA deserves a specific amount of yellow daffodils and fancy grey suits as well. At just twenty-six minutes and twenty seconds, “Acrophobe” is a ten-song experience that deserves a front-to-back listen even if your older brother didn’t claim to listen to Bad Astronaut; kids don’t like to share. If you still haven’t checked this incredible band out, your guilt must be so huge… Ten short tracks, one giant victory!
San Diego, California’s The Bombpops released their debut album “Fear of Missing Out” via FWC in 2017. Catchy as hell and uber-sugar sweet, the band is one of the brighter lights to come out via Fat Wreck Chords this century. It seems that a bunch of the old-school punk bands agree, as The Bombpops have shared the stage with the legendary Descendents and the almost-as-legendary Bad Religion. Fun fact: The band’s vocalist and guitarist Jen “Jen Pop” Razavi’s solo project via Fox and Clown deserves a listen as well, even if it isn’t exactly punk and is the dreaded hyphenated word known as “dark-pop” that is populated by such artists as Lorde the Royal and the Serpent. You readers have such open minds, actually you most certainly don’t, so you can’t go back now; Michelle Branch should and would be proud.
Chabad Religion’s debut self-titled ten-song LP is a short but not rushed thirteen-minute and fifteen-second album of Jewish hymns featuring Yotam Ben Horan of Useless ID on vocals that is, is executed so well it rivals its sole FWC competitor in the Me First and the Gimme Gimmes’ live record from the wacky time that they ruined Jonny’s Bar Mitzvah. Produced by Fat Mike’s production team The D-Composers, Chabad Religion deserves to end more bris’ than “Sweet Caroline.” We’d also love to see Chabad Religion take it on the run and the CHin, with an extra emphasis on “CH” like CHallah and CHanukah!
Cokie the Clown’s 2019 LP “You’re Welcome” is a tough, raw, and uncomfortable listen from Fat Mike’s alter ego Crack the Sad Harlequin. If you want proof of our posit, spin this album’s opening track “Bathtub”. Oy. Not oi. If you can make it through this opener and the following nine tracks without a confluence of negative emotions, you’re not welcome here. Fat Mike is normally “F” for “Funny,” but this record is “B” for “Bummer” in the best way. Featuring production from Danny Lohner of Nine Inch Nails fame, Travis Barker of +44 on pots and pans, and Dizzy Reed of Guns N’ Roses and Not Wankers on a keytar, “You’re Welcome” is deserving of a sequel, and also isn’t. Fun fact that is also not so fun: Check out NOFX’s “My Orphan Year” for more smiles.
Since we are making no low-hanging fruit Fred Durst jokes here we will inform you that Jonathan Davis of Soulfly once told us that he loved Limp’s debut album “Pop and Disorderly” even more than he dug Strung Out’s now-classic “Heavy Petting Zoo.” All true. While its other tracks are melodic, strong, and chock-filled with super-duper vocal harmonies, we’d like to say on record that if the band just released its fun, fun, fun cover of Lindsey Buckingham of Fleetwood Mac’s “Holiday Road” thirteen times as this LP, it would still likely be ranked both here and on Bill Hader’s mantlepiece. If you had a chance to catch Limp on tour with The Suicide Machines, Mephiskapheles, and Telegraph in the late ’90s, you have more street cred than both Paula and Monica.
If you like your third-wave ska with a hearty/meaty/tasty/horne-y dose of Dixieland jazz then Solvang, California’s Mad Caddies are for both you and Solvang’s deceptively large Danish population. If not, then distress. Anyway, Mad Caddies definitely got bigger and bigger with each album after this debut LP known as “Quality Soft Core,” but not fatter and fatter enough to NOT be underrated. This other Honest Don’s release was our gateway drug to the angry/crazy golf club carriers sans golf carts, and it physically forced us to get out of our wheeled chairs whilst holding our respective heads up high. In closing, 1997 was a solid year for the label with revered releases from NUFAN, L, HS, MFATGG, and other acronym acts that may not necessarily dig such acronyms. Basically, nobody does it better.
Imagine a group of ruffians from those creepy as hell Anonymous videos formed a pop-punk/power-pop band in single-colored ski masks inspired by acts like Screeching Weasel and The Mr. T Experience, and NOT inspired by Sleep Token, and you have Madison, Wisconsin’s Masked Intruder. The band’s debut self-titled record was originally released by Red Scare Industries, the former home of the aforementioned The Bombpops, in 2012, Fat re-released said LP the following year, and the then-new “M.I.” came out on FWC in 2014. At just over thirty minutes over the course of thirteen tracks, “M.I.” is a record that is too good to deny. Fans of doo-wop will especially love track seven, “Almost Like We’re Already in Love,” as it hearkens to the racist days of the 1950s, and weirdos from all decades will unabashedly like track eleven, “Weirdo” for obvious reasons.
Nerf Herder? More like NERD HERDER, amirite? Sorry, but now you’re gonna be the one who’s sorry. Apologies aside, after releasing their self-titled LP on a major label which inspired Gary Cherone to join and leave David Lee Roth’s Pasadena cover band, the self-described geek-rock pioneers called Nerf Herder followed said album with 2000’s “How to Meet Girls” on Honest Don’s Records/Fat Wreck Chords. Without a shred of irony, the album’s opener “Vivian” is one of the better pop-rock songs to be released this century, and we aren’t feeling bad at all about saying so. Star Wars jokes aren’t welcome here but Hole, Pantera, Henry Rollins, and Phil Collins zingers surely are! Sadly the band’s releases before 2000 and just afterwards seem to get the most love, but this gem deserves all of the Cabo Wabo it can drink and all of the keys that Matt Sharp can play!
CAPS LOCK ALERT: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE LOVE WE SHARED? DON’T ANSWER THAT, AND PLEASE MAKE THIS PERFECT ALBUM AVAILABLE ON SPOTIFY AND/OR APPLE MUSIC! Sorry for yelling. Hendon, London’s Snuff released “Demmamussabebonk,” one of the better punk rock albums you’ve never heard, in 1996, and Less Than Jake, who put out one of their best LPs “Borders & Boundaries” on FWC but they’re too sizable to be listed here, owes their entire career to this Viking band who combined horns and aggression in a righteous way. We are not ashamed to admit that we proofread this album title a lot more than others here for accuracy, and we implore you to marvel at this band’s discography/other album title names. This is also the oldest studio album on this marvelous list, and what’s older is always better unless it isn’t.
We once read in an inferior publication referencing both grips and Dick Cheney that the late Tony Sly of No Use For A Name’s 2010 solo album “12 Song Program” is Fat Mike’s favorite release on his label. While we are not going to argue with his opinion, which is an extremely heartfelt and bold one, we are choosing to supplant it as a top-ten underrated entry here. Sly passed just two short years after “12 Song Program” was released at the young age of forty-one, leaving a wife and two children behind. We’re choosing to go off-brand here and not include any witticisms or “witticisms” moving forward: Check out this succinct LP right now and dive into NUFAN’s discography if you haven’t done so in a while, or never had the chance to.
It would be low hanging fruit to say that I didn’t enjoy this album all too much, so I won’t say that, but I’ll still let you know that I was clever enough to come up with it, and probably the first person to do so. This album is a very weird one for the band, they take their sound into some territories they hadn’t gone before, and, maybe for the best, wouldn’t ever again. Bathroom humor is turned up to 11 here, and the band even makes what sounds like an attempt at a metal-esque song with “Days Are Blood,” which tends to feel a tiny bit repetitive over it’s nearly 8 minute run time, making it about 7 minutes longer than what Descendents fans are used to. There are some gems here, but there’s a reason it’s one of the least talked about Descendents albums.
Descendents try to be a bit experimental with their sound on this one, and it doesn’t always land. The best songs on “All” are the ones that stick to the tried and true Descendents formula. It’s not a bad thing to experiment, but sometimes it’s just best to stick with the formula that works. Because if you mess with what works, you end up like new Coke, or any Simpsons episode after season 12. Actually, both of those things are still pretty successful. I guess that shows how much I know. Feel free to use that against me when you tell me how bad this ranking is and how your opinion is so much better.
If you’re not already into Descendents, this album probably won’t be the one to change that, but if you’re already into them, then it’s definitely worth the listen. It’s a collection of songs that were written before “Milo Goes To College,” before Milo was even in the band, recorded with the lineup we all know and love. It’s definitely interesting to hear where the band came from and get a sense of how they became what they are now. It’s sort of like the Star Wars prequels, minus the whining fanbase that likes to argue whether or not it’s any good.
“Cool To Be You” packs a lot of the same style of lyrics about farts, being bullied in school, and never making it with your crush that you heard from Descendents in the ‘80s. The problem with that is that the band was about two decades older this time around. Listen, no one’s above a good fart joke, but a handful of these songs still sound like they were written by a bitter high school kid. However, it’s only a small minority of songs that fall victim to this, and if you can look past those few rough spots, the album is pretty good, even if it sounds a bit too polished at times. The album’s namesake “Cool to Be You” feels more like a grown up Milo taking a more mature look at the feelings of not fitting in that he wrote about in previous albums, “One More Day” is a heartfelt and emotional song about the passing of drummer Bill Stephenson’s father, and “Nothing with You” is just a really fun song, as are most of the other songs on this album.
If “Cool To Be You’s” sense of humor showed us anything, it’s that the band really took this album’s title to heart. This album features Descendents at the peak of their immature humor (which we here at The Hard Times are so clearly above), and while it doesn’t always land, sometimes it does. And regardless, the songs themselves are really good. They have the raw sound you’d expect from an LA punk band in the ‘80s, and Milo still manages to pull off many sincere moments throughout the album in its occasional step into a more melodic territory.
Anyone who’s ever read a “top 10 punk facts you didn’t know” probably already knows that Milo took a break from Descendents to go do important science stuff. Well after 9 years, he came back, and much like on “Hypercaffium Spazzinate,” the band clearly wanted to make a statement with their comeback. And that they did. It keeps the Descendents tradition of balancing melody and energy and pulls it off extremely well. Give this one a spin and see why your cooler older cousin was always talking about this album.
After clicking on this article, you probably went right to the end to make sure this is number one. It is, don’t worry, you can go back and start the article from the beginning now. This paragraph will still be here when you get back. This is considered their magnum opus for a reason. It never lacks energy, but it never feels too aggressive. It’s often credited as being the starting point for melodic hardcore, which is objectively the best punk genre, regardless of what your friend with a concerning interest for d-beat might insist. Aside from a few questionable lyrics that the band has now decided to leave out in live performances, the album doesn’t have any low moments. It’s an iconic punk album for a reason.