We all know the most popular thing on the internet is pornography. We all love it, but trailing right behind porn in popularity are tales of true crime. People just can’t get enough of the stuff. It’s like informational heroin, and to satisfy that addiction here are 7 times musicians from the punk/metal worlds ran afoul of the law.
7. Harley Flanagan: Assault
In 2012, the founder and primary songwriter of New York hardcore legends, the Cro-Mags, found himself on the outside of a competing version of the band, fronted by John Joseph. He allegedly turned up at their show at NYC’s Webster Hall, gained access to the VIP section courtesy of a hunting knife, and proceeded to stab and bite then-current members of the band. Flanagan himself was also stabbed during the melee, and claimed that he only bared his teeth in self-defense. The fact that the Cro-Mags’ debut and best-known album is entitled “The Age of Quarrel” is probably just a coincidence. Flanagan’s charges were later dropped due to lack of cooperating witnesses.
6. Phil Rudd: Attempted Murder for Hire
The AC/DC drummer was arrested in New Zealand in 2014 and charged with attempting to procure the murder of two associates. You read that correctly – the man who played on “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap” (the most famous song ever written about hiring a hitman) was arrested for trying to hire a hitman. That’s the type of shit you can’t make up. The murder-for-hire charge was dropped due to “insufficient evidence,” although Rudd was still sentenced to eight months of home detention after pleading guilty to threatening to kill a man and possession of methamphetamine and marijuana. No word on whether the would-be murder plot involved concrete shoes or high voltage.
5. G.G. Allin: Felonious Assault
In 1989, the outlaw scumfuc, projectile defecator, and all around fun guy born Jesus Christ Allin, was charged with “assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder” stemming from an amorous encounter gone awry in Ann Arbor, Michigan, though he plea-bargained to the less severe, and less verbose, infraction of “felonious assault.” He admitted to burning, cutting, and drinking the blood of a female companion, but insisted that the acts were consensual and that she had done the same to him. The experience earned the transgressive Romeo 15 months in prison.
*Honorable Mention* Ozzy Osbourne: Public Urination
We like to have fun here at The Hard Times. But if you’re a regular reader, you already know that one thing we take seriously is desecration of 18th-century Spanish missions and their surrounding plazas. Which is why it isn’t funny that the Prince of Darkness messed with Texas in the most Ozzy way possible – by drunkenly pissing on the Cenotaph, a monument commemorating the Battle of the Alamo. Or that he was wearing only his future wife Sharon’s dress when he did so. Not funny at all. To this day, when one of our contributors binges on White Claw before touring historical sites, we sit them down and warn them to “Remember the Alamo.”
4. Vince Neil: Vehicular Manslaughter
In 1984, the Mötley Crüe vocalist spent a day with Dr. Feelgood before he and Hanoi Rocks drummer, Nicholas “Razzle” Dingley, hopped into his De Tomaso Pantera to visit a liquor store for more booze. In his intoxicated state, Neil lost control and struck an oncoming vehicle head-on, killing Dingley and causing brain damage to the occupants of the other car. He was charged with vehicular manslaughter and DUI, sentenced to 30 days in jail and 5 years probation, and ordered to pay $2.6 million restitution and perform 200 hours of community service. Alas, sometimes when you shout at the devil, he shouts back. So dear reader, keep your eyes peeled for drunken glam metal singers and buckle up because it’s all murder from here on in.
3. Phil Spector: Second-Degree Murder
You: Isn’t this a list for punk and metal artists? Us: How many Ramones albums did you produce? Spector, the legendary producer who worked with the Crystals, the Ronettes, Ike & Tina Turner, and the Beatles, among others, also produced the 1980 Ramones album, “End of the Century,” allegedly holding the band at gunpoint during the sessions. Unfortunately, his 2A fetish didn’t end there. Spector shot and killed actress Lana Clarkson in 2003, for which he was convicted of second-degree murder and sentenced to 19 years to life. He died in 2021 while still incarcerated, proving that sometimes a wall of steel is mightier than a wall of sound.
2. Varg Vikernes: Murder and Arson
The Norwegian white supremacist, church burning enthusiast, and sole member of pioneering black metal project Burzum, has been called “the most notorious metal musician of all time.” In 1992, he joined Mayhem, replacing bassist Necrobutcher, who took issue with guitarist Euronymous’s callous treatment of vocalist Dead’s suicide (including rearranging the scene and taking photographs for later use as an album cover). Vikernes had no such qualms, playing with Euronymous in Mayhem and inviting him to guest on Burzum albums. Sadly, the bromance was not to last. In 1993, the relationship between Vikernes and Euronymous became acrimonious, and Vikernes stabbed Euronymous to death in his apartment. He unsuccessfully claimed self-defense and was sentenced to 21 years in prison for murder, arson of three churches, attempted arson of a fourth church, theft, and storage of explosives. Vikernes now considers himself retired from music, enjoys long walks on the beach, and spends his free time being a complete piece of shit.
1. Sid Vicious: Murder
Let’s be honest, you read this far to make sure he was on the list, right? On the night of October 11, 1978, the erstwhile Sex Pistols bassist, and girlfriend Nancy Spungen, partied in their room at NYC’s Chelsea Hotel. By 11:00 the next morning, Nancy was found dead of a stab wound. Sid alternately claimed that he remembered nothing, that Nancy had fallen on his knife, and that he had stabbed her but not meant to kill her. Many have speculated a suicide pact gone wrong. Sid was charged with Nancy’s murder, but released on bail awaiting trial. On December 5, 1978, Vicious went to the Hurrah nightclub to see the band Skafish, where he flirted with the girlfriend of Patti Smith’s brother, Todd Smith. A fracas ensued in which Smith was stabbed in the face with a broken beer bottle by Vicious, sending him back to Rikers Island for assault and parole violation. On February 1, 1979, Vicious was again released on bail, having completed seven weeks of heroin detox. He celebrated his freedom and independence from heroin by, naturally, acquiring and shooting some heroin. His mother found him dead of an overdose the next morning, ending a sordid but defining chapter in the history of punk rock. We’ll never know for sure if Sid “did it” – we only know that he did it his way.
The songs on A Wilhelm Scream’s debut album are as catchy as you would expect from the group, and it’s easy to see the bones of what they would eventually become with the release of “Mute Print” three years later. But even the catchiest songs can’t shine to their full potential when the recording quality is awful and the vocal harmony attempts sound worse than beheading videos, so it can be tough to sit through for anyone who doesn’t have an existing love for the band. Consider this an official call for a 25th-anniversary redo from the guys, as it’d be a delight to hear these top-tier songs revived with some recording equipment released in the years since World War II.
Landing nearly a full decade after 2013’s “Partycrasher,” “Lose Your Delusion” is A Wilhelm Scream’s most mature album – but the group is also clearly taking themselves a bit less seriously and having the most fun of their career here. The mix of brighter-sounding riffs, slower tempos, and lyrics that tackle subjects like friendship and childhood nostalgia are a major shift from what fans have come to expect. As such, when the two more traditional hardcore tunes make appearances during the otherwise upbeat 11-song romp can have the type of jarring effect one might experience from seeing Bob Ross get angry and throw one of his paintings at a group of birds. But even those tonal inconsistencies can’t derail such a creative outing, so here’s to hoping we don’t have to wait another decade for more AWS,
Ruiner is filled to the brim with some of the catchiest melodies and riffs the group has ever pieced together (“The King is Dead” is probably the best fucking opener of any punk album ever) – but it’s definitely a product of its time. Everyone in the band was clearly on some mid-2000s emo shit, so there’s a blend of their signature sound with intimately bleak lyrical content and warm, thick guitar tones perfect for applying thick black eyeliner to. But while Ruiner no doubt flirted with Hot Topic vibes more than any of their other albums, it remains an awesome nostalgia bomb for those of us who grew up with these face-melting songs.
While A Wilhelm Scream may be best known for their later work, “Mute Print” was many fans’ introduction to the New Bedford punk rockers. It’s here that they debuted the level of technical proficiency that would continue to define them for the following two decades, effortlessly combining intricate dual lead guitars with aggressive punk rhythms and fierce vocals to create a sound unmatched by their contemporaries. It’s also the home of “Rip,” which has long been a fan-favorite track to chant along to at live shows due to its heavy and lyrically-powerful outro.
With a predecessor like the career-defining release of “Career Suicide,” “Partycrasher” had a high bar to clear, so it’s surprising that A Wilhelm Scream managed to pull off an album so reminiscent of its predecessor at all. It features a handful of the best tracks in the band’s decades-spanning catalog and serves as a fantastic onboarding album for your friends with shitty music taste who are always trying to make you listen to Alkaline Trio. Hitting hard out of the gate with the anthemic “Boat Builders” and going out strong with the melodic mastery of “Born A Wise Man,” “Partycrasher” somehow manages to never relent at any point in-between.
“Career Suicide” is widely accepted as A Wilhelm Scream’s magnum opus, showcasing the best and most consistent implementation of their progressive punk rock sound. The group’s fourth album just refuses to give you a moment to breathe with its relentlessly energetic collection of technical masterpieces. Singer Nuno Pereira sounds more comfortable than ever as he belts memorable lyrics with his signature intensity in between the staggeringly complex guitars and bass, never a missing a step across thirty-five minutes of thundering aggression. This is undoubtedly the album to show crusty punk kids what they could achieve if they’d spend more time practicing and less time sewing patches onto their jackets.
