It’s Thanksgiving, and families around the country are gathering together to celebrate! While virtually every dinner table in the country will have the traditional holiday…
Halloween: just one of many holidays that, upon reaching adulthood, is little more than an excuse to get absolutely shitfuck wasted without being judged as…
So you’re seeing someone new, and it’s been going great! Except for one thing: your chemistry isn’t as strong as it was during the honeymoon…
Donald Sheffield June 4, 1990 – July 5, 2023 Born in Bennington, Vermont, Donald Sheffield was raised in a paper yurt on the backside of…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new sex doll developed by Cambridge Robotics Lab is the first of its kind to be so lifelike that it will…
PORTLAND, Ore. — An undercover federal agent implanted in the nationwide food-sharing collective Food Not Bombs is finally making strides to learn the correct way…
NEW YORK — The medical staff at New York Presbyterian Hospital are facing allegations of medical malpractice after a botched blood transfusion because of a…
SEATTLE — Ostentatious little showboat David Farrow is spending all of January completely abstinent from alcohol without the looming threat of incarceration, vexed sources confirmed.…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local punk John Adler is one of the unlucky few who will be leaving his comfortable life with seven roommates in a…
PALM BEACH, Fla. — FBI Agent David Abramson revealed he was able to gain access to former President Donald Trump’s safe first try by using…
LOS ANGELES — Lizzo is facing backlash across social media after announcing she would be releasing a limited-edition split 7″ with powerviolence pioneers, and kung…
WASHINGTON — Representatives from the Capitol Police force requested funding for urgent mental health care for all the officers who responded to today’s presentation from…
Charles Dickens’ 1843 novella A Christmas Carol tells the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, an old miser who is shown the error of his ways by…
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local police officer James Kehoe was stripped of his Sergeant rank after his two semesters of D.A.R.E. classes didn’t result in him…
NEW YORK — The Hallmark Channel is branching out into new creative territory this year with the addition of a coming of age story about…