WASHINGTON — Legendary frontman Ian MacKaye stunned longtime fans by revealing the song “Straight Edge” was not meant to be an anti-drug anthem, but a…
WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Local Weakerthans fan Graham Neal is reportedly unable to extend his performance in the bedroom by using the classic “just think about…
As many Americans know, history started the day they entered this world and everything before that is dogshit that doesn’t matter, but what about that…
Hello, my name is J.D. Vance, and I am running for Vice President of these United States, but that’s not what I’m here to talk…
Growing up as a millennial was tough. The internet came along and changed the world, and our parents were too self-absorbed and lead-poisoned to ever…
Has your once hot and heavy sex life lost its flavor? Like you’ve gone from an all-you-can-eat Indian buffet to a bowl of plain lettuce?…
Like the quests for the Fountain of Youth or the Holy Grail, I too have spent what feels like eons searching for something I thought…
NEW YORK — A group of admittedly “horned-up” and “desperate” ornithologists confessed that the majority of questionable bird names were direct results of their uncontrollable…
From its origins to the modern era, our literature is rife with star-crossed lovers. Helen and Paris from The Iliad. Romeo and Juliet from Shakespeare.…
The ‘70s are back, baby, and they’re right here in my 250-square-foot apartment. I’m reliving the debauchery of the decade by masturbating to completion, taking…
CRANFORD, N.J. — The members of a Union County book club awoke this morning with no idea that every moment of last night’s meetup almost…
Anyone old enough to have joint pain they’ve accepted to be permanent now can tell you, the ‘80s were awesome! America was the greatest nation…
SAN FRANCISCO — A new campaign of directly targeted Hims ads on television and streaming platforms are calling out multiple bald or sexually inadequate men…
AKRON, Ohio — Local post-punk band Blaque Tye started a Patreon page last week as part of an esoteric sexual humiliation fetish, in which their…
LAKE PLACID, N.Y. — Sexually curious man Alex Poe was forced to memorize three pages of acronyms before diving into a new kink, sources who…