TUCKER, Ga. — Punk Ollie Boyer turned around a framed photo on his nightstand last night of punk rock icon and notoriously judgemental dude Henry…
LANGHAM, Saskatchewan — A Beta Cucks show last night at the Langham Legion Hall was interrupted when a windmilling punk was tilted by a mysterious…
LOS ANGELES — Garage-rock frontman Julian Wood asked a casual female acquaintance yesterday for naked photos in an effort to save a flailing conversation, Wood…
PHILADELPHIA — Local pervert David Bell could not climax this morning during his daily commute after noticing another bus rider openly nursing her infant, multiple…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A Wilco T-shirt mysteriously materialized last week in the closet of local man Steve Rosetti, the latest in a string of possibly…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Chronically unemployed man and frequent HPV spreader Danny Feldman is completely unaware that his last three girlfriends all consider dating him to…
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local punk Kenny Holmes offered to introduce Fannie Lane, the singer of Fannie and the Road Bandits, to her fellow members of…
NEW ORLEANS — Local punk Sarah Moreno was seen scouring the crowd at a show last night for her blind date, a “white guy in…
MONSTEROPOLIS, Fla. — A routine extermination of a rogue android known as Florida Man took an unexpected turn yesterday when super fighting robot Mega Man…
SEATTLE — Showgoers at the burgeoning house venue Garbage Home were stumped Friday night when a middle-aged man found his way into their secret basement…
CHICAGO — Climatologists are blaming record-low temperatures for the steep decline in Year-Round Shorts-Guy populations, resulting in a massive shortage of exposed, hairy, mid-winter calves,…
DENVER — Local all-around garbage human Russ Mitchell was totally grossed out by a female musician’s armpit hair during a show on Tuesday night, according…
WALPOLE, Mass. — Walpole punk and Malaysian national Luo Hen Lei is now looked upon as the Boston-area scene expert on issues affecting Black people…
PHILADELPHIA — Local pet owner Dylan Murphy could not find a suitable adoptive home for his beloved pet cockatoo last week, despite incessantly screaming “FREE…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local punk and black person Mark Feeber attended a show Thursday evening, and not a single person in attendance used legendary hardcore…
