BOSTON — Local guitarist Lacey Buntz successfully replaced the low E string on her acoustic guitar using a thick, incredibly long, jet-black, chin hair she…
PHOENIX — 35-year-old Cassie Lozano is in critical condition after she foolishly came to the conclusion she needed to limit her caffeine intake and decided…
EUGENE, Ore. — Lesbian-owned tattoo parlor Rock Scissored Paper offers its dedicated clientele a variety of tattoo options as long as they are Celtic knots…
Portland, Ore. — Local woman Rachel Vance claims that if she had a cartoon counterpart it would be the sarcastic, intelligent Daria Morgendorffer, despite ample…
BROOKLYN, NY — 35-year-old straight woman Jenny Spencer wasted no time introducing her boyfriend Mike Kang as her “partner” to her lesbian friend, Beth Castillo.…
SPARKS, Nev. — Local man Richard Baxter stopped kissing the woman he’s been dating for two weeks to wonder if she was also bothered by…
TACOMA, Wash. — Show regular Harmony Smith put the seat down in the bathroom of venue Plaid Pig before squatting and hovering above the toilet…
PITTSBURGH — Self-proclaimed “scene kid” and 38-year-old woman Kaitlyn Holden adorned her body with two nautical star tattoos twenty years too late, according to sources…
CHICAGO 一 Local woman and record collector Sara Yousefi feels extremely relieved and happy that a random man has decided to gatekeep nu-metal, groaning sources…
BOSTON — Local woman Ava Rivera experienced what she believed to be a breakthrough last week after suffering her first panic attack about something realistically…
NEW YORK — Local woman Francisca Noguera asked her abusive partner of five months if he could extend his grooming habits to include his hygiene,…
OAK PARK, Ill. — Lexie Henriques courageously ignored a notification suggesting it may be “Time to close Instagram?,” nobly ignoring the setting she enabled to…
TAUNTON, Mass. — Local maniac and new mother Aidy Simmons is now apparently the foremost expert on health, safety, and almost every other topic now…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Local man Dale Harrison was admitted to the ICU at St. Mary’s Hospital last Thursday after discovering that the drummer of…
DURHAM, N.C. — Local graphic designer Kendra Thayer was relieved to wake up intact after an intense night of introducing herself to three complete strangers…