Bitch Alert! This Woman With No Kids Enjoys Her Life
What’s worse than a woman? A childless woman. What’s worse than a childless woman? A childless woman enjoying her life.…
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Violet Meeker
17 stories found
Inspiring! This Non-Profit Raised 7 Billion Dollars for Temporary Sports Arenas During the Largest Homelessness Crisis in Modern History
Amidst the largest homeless crisis in modern day history, The International Olympic Committee was able to raise 7 billion dollars…
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Man Baby Rebrands as Silly Guy
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local man baby Tim Jeffers is looking to tweak his identity to be a silly guy, confirmed…
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9 Dogs I Genuinely Think Should Have More Rights Than Michael Rapaport
Reeking of dark energy and with a skin tone I can only describe as “Libertarian,” Michael Rappaport has unfortunately made…
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9 Tax Prep Tips That Will Drive Your Seasonal Depression Into a Place Beyond Repair
This year's tax season is tapping you on the shoulder whilst you live through not just December, but also the…
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Punk Hibachi Chef Throws Cigarette Butts Into Patrons Mouths
BOSTON — Local punk hibachi chef Joey “Skunk” Robins reportedly hucks cigarette butts into the mouths of customers as opposed…
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Ira Glass Lookalike Contest Held at Yo La Tengo Concert
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — An Ira Glass lookalike contest was held at a Yo La Tengo concert this week, confirmed sources…
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5 Easy Weeknight Meals That Are All Just a Whole Rotisserie Chicken With No Utensils
Weeknights are busy. You come home after a long and hellish day of being told what to do by people…
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“Snowperson” and Other Updated Holiday Terminologies That Are Guaranteed To Incite Pointless Rage in Your Shitty Uncle
It’s the holidays, which means it’s time to go home an delicately navigate social interaction with the right-wing bigots you…
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How To Act Like You’re Interested in Your Co-Worker’s Recap of Their Weekend, Even Though You’ve Been Tracking Their Every Movement on Venmo With a Fervor Not Even You Can Understand
It’s Monday. Your co-worker has a lot to tell you about their weekend, and pretty soon you feel yourself wanting…
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