WASHINGTON — Steve Bannon, a former Trump adviser, is worried about what will happen to “someone as pretty as him” in prison after a federal…
WASHINGTON — President Biden congratulated Mexico’s first female president Claudia Sheinbaum on her win and promised Americans that this country’s glass ceiling will also be…
LOS ANGELES — Local shelter cat Midnight is holding out hope that legendary frontman Glenn Danzig will show up in the waning minutes of today’s…
NEW YORK – A juror involved in former President Trump’s ongoing hush money trial discovered a box of Trump Steaks and a Degree from Trump…
Everyone loves a good mosh pit, you get blow off some steam, impress your peers with performative fighting ability, and you look cool as hell…
VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis is reportedly in talks with executives at Netflix to film three exclusive stand-up comedy specials after His Holiness used a…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local conservative, and self-proclaimed free thinking punk, Eddie Duff was confused by what he described as “woke propaganda” in Dead Kennedys lyrics…
QUINCY, Mass. — Members of the Massachusetts Teachers Association are reportedly making plans to launch an all-out attack on Gaza in order to get some…
LOS ANGELES — Local police officer Mark Woodside warmed up for a long day of work beating college kids peacefully protesting genocide by knocking around…
NEW YORK — Former President Trump’s Defense Attorney Emil Bove used his time cross-examining former National Enquirer Publisher David Pecker about whether or not Elvis…
NEW YORK — Local cop Thomas Hannon admitted that he’s excited about his upcoming paid leave of absence once he is disciplined for brutalizing a…
NEW YORK — Former punk Ruby Davis, made famous in the Rancid song “Ruby Soho,” reportedly closed on a deal to sell her apartment in…
APALACHICOLA, Fla. — Dedicated Swifties across the internet believe the new Taylor Swift song “Florida!!!” is about her highly publicized breakup with the mythical swamp…
NEW YORK — Executives from The Big Five book publishers launched a coordinated effort to boost sales by pressuring the universe’s creator, and once prominent…
Have you ever been frustrated by the United States Postal Service because they lost a letter you mailed? Imagine if that letter miraculously showed up…