In the years prior to 1983 (give or take), many fans of hard rock and heavy metal were trapped with the ultimate crisis: the need…
1983 was a monster year for heavy metal. It’s arguably the most important year for the entire genre. Why? Mainly because of the fact it’s…
FUCKIN’ SLAAAAYYYYYEEERRR have been a staple in the metal community since their debut album in 1983. And since then, they have existed as a band…
Each week The Hard Times looks back on a classic album. This week we reviewed Slayer’s “Show No Mercy” because we decided to try cocaine…
*TO EDITOR: I’M BEGGING YOU. PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH.* The Hard Times: Hey, nice shirt. Name 3 songs. Kendall Jenner: Ok. Off which album? Their…
DETROIT — Supposed diehard Slayer fan James Denninger was released from prison this weekend much earlier than expected due to good behavior, confirmed shocked and…
Everyone says how long 2020 has felt, but it seems to have gone by in a flash when it comes to listening to new music.…
SUGAR LAND, Texas — New homeowner and devoted metalhead Eric Bronson replaced the out-of-date shag carpet in his living room yesterday, installing a fresh layer…
CHICAGO — Local metalhead Gary Dwyer cannot wait to “pound a sixer” of Old Style in the parking lot before Riot Fest, get nauseous, throw…
LOS ANGELES — A flurry of legendary thrash bands returned to their original form today after guitarist Dave Mustaine signed a contract to rejoin Metallica…
ATLANTA — A flyer posted on the corkboard of Criminal Records announced that local metal band Fierce Fire is holding auditions for a new guitarist,…
Maybe it’s unfair to blame Slayer for their fans’ wild, destructive behavior but it is an undisputed fact that every single Slayer fan is an…
LEIPZIG, Germany — Thrash metal stalwarts Anthrax are “pretty surprised” to be considered one of thrash metal’s “legendary Big Four,” the band members admitted backstage…
Fuckin’ SLAYER mother fucker! Yeah! Fuckin’ Raining Blood fuckin’ metal fuck yeah! AAAAAAARRRGGHHH! Yeah! Oh yeah so fuckin’ BRUTAL! 0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0–0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0–0-0-0-0-0-0 You HEAR that SHIT?! That’s…
ALLENTOWN, Penn. — Metal diehard James Allen used the online tax filing platform TaxSlayer yesterday to “eviscerate, desecrate, and properly file” his 1040EZ tax return,…