PORTLAND, Ore. — White progressive voters across the country announced they were excited by how many different races, genders, and ethnicities they can blame for…
PEORIA, Ill. — A masked member of a local militia who was harassing people waiting in line to vote embarrassingly forgot where he left his…
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — Former President Trump made a last-minute appeal to all potential voters with a simple message: “If you don’t vote for…
There is power in sending out postcards to encourage people to vote. They say in 2020 the number of postcards sent out in some swing…
Every human has basic desires: the need for shelter, human touch, and access to Presidential Mukbang streams. It’s only natural that in the year of…
Legendary musician, producer, and seemingly the luckiest son of a bitch around, Quincy Jones died at his home in Bel Air Sunday night just a…
AUSTIN, Texas — J.D. Vance sat down for a three-hour interview with popular podcaster Joe Rogan to let potential voters know he’s just a completely…
WASHINGTON — The minds behind the much-reviled Project 2025 announced new plans to capture ecological superhero Captain Planet and his trusty Planeteers in order to…
WASHINGTON — President Biden sent his longtime friend Benjamin Netanyahu a thoughtful handwritten birthday card with a crisp $5 fresh off the mint, as well…
NEW YORK — Minnesota Governor and Vice President nominee Tim Walz was asked about conflicting statements and timelines surrounding his claim that he attended that…
WASHINGTON — Ronald Rowe Jr, acting director of the Secret Service, held a press conference today to announce that he is heavily considering requesting all…
Last night America witnessed the first and possibly only debate between two presidential hopefuls. One of them, former president Trump, came down pretty hard on…
PALM BEACH, Fla. – Sources within the Trump campaign reported that the former president and his team are seemingly overwhelmed with despair after pollsters found…
HOUSTON — Stranded Boeing Starliner astronauts are considering themselves lucky as a delay pushed their return back to February 2025, therefore continuing to trap them…