GARDEN CITY, Kan. — Local singer of punk band Salmonella Handjob surprised a crowd recently by holding their replacement drummer up by the scruff of…
EL SEGUNDO, Calif. — Local drummer Austin Block admitted to feeling intense jealousy, abandonment, and heartbreak when his bandmates in Genghis Pawn executed multiple jumps…
LOS ANGELES — Acclaimed film director Sam Mendes announced that his ambitious portrayal of the Beatles, which will be told through four separate films focusing…
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. — The ongoing legal battles that are plaguing Donald Trump’s 2024 presidential prospects continue with last night’s announcement disqualifying him from contention…
Opinion: Let’s See That Thirteen Year Old Who Beat Tetris Fit My 12-Piece Drum Set In My Ford Fiesta
I bet you think you’re a big man now, don’t you? But guess what, just because you are the first and only person in human…
Sure, Drum Machines Can Keep a Beat, But They’ll Never Replicate My Profound Lack of Professionalism
I’ve heard my fair share of criticism from my bandmates over the years. They say that I’m “too moody.” That I’m an “unreliable asshole.” That…
True, by the time you finish this article many of these drummers will be dead or replaced. But as of this moment, all 50 are…
WALLINGFORD, Conn. — A blossoming romance wilted last night after Ty Baldwin, lead singer of local punk outfit Gashmaggot, called his new girlfriend by his…
YUMA, Ariz. — Local mathcore drummer Elmore Verrichek is exceedingly humiliated at his inability to master the rhythms of an arcade whack-a-mole machine, sources confirmed…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — The entire state of California experienced a sudden and significant shortage of printer paper after Josh Freese attempted to print an…
BENSALEM, Pa. – New Rush tribute band Tom Tom Sawyer hopes to set themselves apart from the competition by being composed of drummers exclusively, sources…
HONESDALE, Pa. — The drummer of melodic hardcore band Goofus Eats Gallant was reportedly chafed when his philistine bandmates barbarically chatted as he diligently practiced…
PHILADELPHIA — Local musician Tommy Petro, drummer and backup vocalist for metalcore band The Song of Sisyphus, admitted he feels the same sense of awkwardness…