WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump attended Ash Wednesday service at St. John’s Episcopal Church, Lafayette Square, where he reportedly asked the reverend performing the service…
CANTON, Mass. — Observers of the cover art of Dio’s 1983 debut masterpiece “Holy Diver” collectively agreed that the priest depicted being whipped by a…
JEROME, Ariz. — Jehovah’s Witness Leonard Standish and Tool fan Don Schmidt spent all night spreading the gospel of their faith and fandom, exhausted sources…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local heavy metal fan Eric Tullman was saddened that the Mercyful Fate shirt he was wearing while making an emergency restroom stop…
In the words of Steve Miller and his band, time keeps on slipping into the future. Do you want to feel old? Well, guess what?…
NEW YORK — Executives from The Big Five book publishers launched a coordinated effort to boost sales by pressuring the universe’s creator, and once prominent…
The Killers are one of the single biggest rock acts of the this millennium, a powerhouse band propelled by the incredible showmanship and charisma of…
WASHINGTON — Local punk exorcist Benicio “Scary” Scaramucci admitted he didn’t see any problems with the sinister child threatening nuns and puking everywhere when asked…
50 Cartoon Characters Ranked By How Likely They Are to See the Divine Light of the Kingdom of Heaven
50 Cartoon Characters Ranked By How Likely They Are to See the Divine Light of the Kingdom of Heaven
Good morrow, fellows. My name is Piteousness Baille. I am, this year, celebrating my 106th birthday. I am one of the last remaining members of…
NEW YORK – Local Greek Orthodox punk Roland Lee admits he regularly misses out on limited edition Record Store Day releases due to the fact…
America is going to hell in a hand-basket, and not in a good way. These kids today don’t care about anything except Tiktok, Fortnite, and…
DALLAS — Despondent black metal bedroom musician Dale “Vaxxix” Houlihan recently came to the sudden realization that the spiritual void in his life is best…
LAS VEGAS — Self-proclaimed Killers fan Tyler Blakeslee was horrified to discover allusions to frontman Brandon Flowers’ Mormon faith hidden within the band’s biggest hits,…
BOISE, Idaho — Local youth pastor Chase Rexley gained quite a following in his church after revealing that he doesn’t believe in God, sources who…
Well, boil, boil, toil, and NOT SO MUCH TROUBLE apparently. Ever since I was introduced to the tale of Hansel and Gretel as a child…