If “Pony,” Far’s cover of Ginuwine’s third-wave ska-punk masterpiece, is the only song that you know of from the Sacramento, California four-piece, you need to reevaluate your life and question your own lack of taste and awareness. Formed in 1991 in the wake of grunge’s epic global takeover, Far released their sensitive emo-adjacent debut studio album “Listening Game” independently just one year later, and after its other indie follow-up “Quick” came out in 1994 eventually inked a deal with Immortal/Epic Records, released two LPs via said label, and split up, only to reform for a one-off LP via Vagrant Records in 2010. The band’s legacy is a paradox of super strong and extremely underrated, and we are honored to wax poetic about the band that was truly ahead of their collective time.
5. Listening Game (1992)
Opening their debut LP “Listening Game” with various sounds and dialogue from the classic horror series “Sesame Street” via its title track showcased a youthful exuberant energy right from the start, as Far introduced themselves to and joined the musical floodgates with twelve post-hardcore tracks that truly foreshadowed their eventual major sonic influence. Well, you have to start somewhere, and the band truly did with this one. In addition, 1992 was an incredible year for the world of rock with sterling monumental records from Faith No More (“Angel Dust”), Alice In Chains (“Dirt”), R.E.M. (“Automatic for the People”), and TLC (“Oooooooh… On the TLC Tip”). Coming out via Rusty Nail Records, “Listening Game” is a fun start, but thankfully the band “grew up” on its next four and progressed as songwriters and musicians.
Play it again: “All Go Down”
Skip it: About ⅓ of it
4. Quick (1994)
Opening/title track “Quick” truly sounds like Quicksand covering Soundgarden’s “Bleach” in the best way, and the song itself gets its aggressive and catchy point across in a quick two-minutes-and-thirty-eight seconds that exhaust you whilst keeping you wanting more and more. While the production on this particular track leaves a little something to be desired, “Quick” as a song is quite endearing, and as a record front-to-back has less filler than its predecessor, but not by much. The original version of “Girl,” which eventually got re-recorded on their major label debut was the band’s best song at the time, and is captured quite well here. If you identify as such, you will be the man o’ the year if you stream this album straight through with an open mind and wallet, sister.
Play it again: “Girl”
Skip it: Just under ⅓ of it
3. At Night We Live (2010)
“At Night We Live,” Far’s lone non-’90s full-length LP, served as a one-off comeback after the band initially split in 1999. It is definitely the first of which to be mentioned here that is consistent front to back, and the aforementioned cover of “Pony” isn’t even the best song by a longshot, as its first song “Deafening” is one of the better post-hardcore opening tracks, and “If You Cared Enough” is an amazing subsequent song. The record also served as a memorial to Sacramento peers’ Deftones’ late bassist Chi Cheng, who sadly left this earth way too soon after an automobile accident, and Far’s love for him and his bandmates burn forever and ever bright as they fight through 16,233,241 tears. Sadly the band split up again once more the year that “At Night We Live” came out and it looks like the original lineup will never reform.
Play it again: “Deafening”
Skip it: “Better Surrender”
2. Tin Cans with Strings to You (1996)
Far’s third full-length studio LP “Tin Cans with Strings to You” came out just a few years too early. We here firmly believe that if both of these records were released in the early-00s Far would have had an overabundance of sales and streams in the lexicon, and even more than five albums by now, but unfortunately that’s not how the cookies crumbled in the sea, circus, aisle, and cum dump known as the music industry. Still, the riffs, emotion, personality, and raw power of “Tin Cans with Strings to You” stood out in the mid-’90s, and will still impress heads today, especially since its competition is an AI song in C minor with lyrics that a third grader with remedial skills would scoff at. Sweat a river, live no lies.
Play it again: “Job’s Eyes”
Skip it: “Joining The Circus”
1. Water & Solutions (1998)
This gold medal slot may be extremely predictable to you, but sometimes cliches like The Beatles being good and pizza tasting great are such for a reason. We didn’t have a choice about how we handled this here, and we’re actually surprisingly relieved about that. Far’s fourth LP, is a top-five post-hardcore record ever sans hyperbole, and one of the more underrated rock gems of the 1990s, a decade with the best blend of rock and roll outside of the 1960s. Shoutouts are in order for Jonah Matranga, Shaun Lopez, John Gutenburger, and Chris Robyn. No shoutouts are deserved for the rock community that chose more sub-par groups to embrace. Maybe there was another way out for the band, but sadly their small white world was closing down.
Play it again: “Bury White”-”Waiting for Sunday”
Skip it: Fire and problems
Fun? Yes. Corny? At times. Self-aware? Yep, yep, yep. Limp Bizkit’s fifth studio LP “Gold Cobra” was their first full-length effort in eight years. First off, Limp Bizkit has never ever sucked; they were a product of their time, a weird time. Also, the OG “Three Dollar Bill, Y’all” debut LP lineup was back in full force at five for five via “Gold Cobra,” and fans old and new school rejoiced, as the loss of Wes Borland showcased that the band had huge shoes to fill and that they could actualize filling ‘em. If you still lambast Limp Bizkit just for the idea of doing such, get a life, Captain Loser/Douchebag, try harder, and kill the hater in you. In badass form, this album’s follow-up is a GREAT improvement.
Limp Bizkit’s fourth studio album may have been doomed from its start due to principal member guitarist Wes Borland leaving the band, but it is better than you remember, and “Eat You Alive” remains a top ten LB single. Once Borland left, Limp Bizkit had a publicly unsuccessful search for a replacement, but Mike Smith of Snot took the position, albeit for a short time. The growing pains show up on this LP on the mic, underneath the gun, and the band’s momentum was down another day, that’s for sure! Also, whatever your thoughts on their The Who cover of “Behind Blue Eyes” is, and we assume it is not very positive in the slightest, it was a cocky and badass move to utilize a rapper’s singing vocals with LB’s spin on the classic rock megahit.
Limp Bizkit released their first album in just over ten years with their sixth effort “Still Sucks,” and not only is the record their most succinct at twelve tracks that last just over thirty-two minutes but, it is the first mentioned here that is a consistent listen front to back, AND it doesn’t suck. In a super cool flex, critics from inferior publications ate this one up, and the album was critically acclaimed and, “Dad Vibes,” the album’s first single, got verbal accolades as well. If this record was the subsequent full-length album after “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water,” and both of its follow-ups were EPs instead of LPs, their studio album catalog would be nearly flawless.
“Significant Other” showcased to the world with literal data that the band was one of the biggest acts in the world, and climbed to number one on the Billboard 200, yes, NUMBER %^&*ing ONE. It’s hard for a band to have one single do well in the mainstream, let alone four, but most albums don’t contain “Nookie,” our highlight track “Re-Arranged,” “N 2 Gether Now,” and “Break Stuff.” Many wrote off the band as a novelty act for the hit Debbie Gibson cover song from its debut predecessor “Three Dollar Bill, Y’all,” but those who did were proven that they didn’t deserve anyone’s trust; a lesson learned. Since Fred Durst raps, this album looked like a typical hip-hop record with features from Jonathan Davis of Korn, Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots, Aaron Lewis of Staind, and Method Man of Salt-N-Pepa.
This album, “Three Dollar Bill, Y’all,” may have one of the worst album titles of all time, but it is SO much more than “Faith,” AND “Faith” rules too! From “Intro” directly into our highlight track “Pollution,” Limp Bizkit introduced themselves to the world with a “don’t mess with us or we will cut you” brutal attitude laden with impassioned screams, razor sharp rhymes, insane/underrated musicianship from a rhythm section (Sam Rivers and John Otto) and turntablist (DJ Lethal), and an ambitious rock guitarist. ’90s demigod Ross Robinson produced this LP to perfection, and angry white kids with backwards hats, baggy jeans, and Cheetos stained teeth/garments all over America, and eventually the globe, ate it in droves. The record came out at the perfect time, as bands in this world were about to become the trendsetters, and LB rode the wave to a sustainable career.
Third time’s a charm? “Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water,” Limp Bizkit’s third full-length studio LP, may have one of the best album titles of all time, and yes, we know about Hoobastank’s self-titled effort. Also, like its predecessor “Significant Water,” the starfish and meat H2O appeared at number one on the Billboard 100, had four very successful singles, and one that was just successful without the word “very” before it. Fun fact: Track two, “Hot Dog,” uses the F-word forty-seven times, which is even more than that time your dad was was walking around the house barefoot and stubbed his toe on one of the kitchen table legs and his toenail fell off. Anyway, it’ll be ok if you revisit this album right now in an air raid or urban assault vehicle; we just want you to live it up your way whilst you getcha groove on.
Oh yeah, “Die Hard” is a great left-of-center Christmas movie… like 10 years ago! At this point, even your Mom recognizes “Die Hard” to be an offbeat Christmas movie, and while championing it as such is still obnoxious, it’s sadly become too pedestrian to take the place of an entire personal ethos. Nowadays you gotta try a little harder than that to try too hard.
Sure it’s got a couple of doofuses being hit in the balls with paint cans and such, and as a person with no discernible personality or interests that’s the height of comedy to you! Unfortunately “Home Alone” is just too close to an actual recognized Christmas movie for you to sell loving it as an interesting quirk. You could maybe get away with claiming “Home Alone 3” is your favorite but that may require some actual nuance and thought on your part, and boy are you tired.
Good news! They don’t really make a ton of rom-coms anymore, so liking them makes you a real, legitimate, honest to god type of person! You have a TASTE! We’re pretty sure Christmas was in this one somewhere, don’t most of these have a Christmas scene?
Have you already made liking Harry Potter your entire personality? No need to switch gears for the Holidays! Remember, every one of these movies features a Christmas scene, so you’re in the clear! Sure, J.K. Rowling has made a hard turn to the dark side in recent years, but nothing embodies the holiday season more than overlooking the deep-seated flaws of the people you grew up with!
Another Christmas-laden rom-com, but tread carefully with this one. It is after all, a movie about someone who assumes the identity of someone else, and you are, after all, an NPC trying to pass yourself off as someone with cultivated tastes. It might tip your hand!
Do you remember AOL? And is asking that the closest thing to an ice breaker you can muster when meeting other people your own age? Then you’ve got a new favorite Christmas movie!
Are you the sort of person who, when asked what they like to do, blurts out “Go to the gym,” and then kind of trails off or tries to change the subject? Good news! Rocky 4’s final fight in Russia takes place on Christmas day! You might have been too distracted by Rocky ending communism to notice, but yup, it’s for sure Christmas! Now, when asked to describe yourself, you can say TWO things!
Oh hell yeah. Deep down you may know you’re a dullard and a coward, but when you pick “Eyes Wide Shut” as your favorite Christmas movie, you say to the world “I am an interesting and smart sex person.” Whoever you’re talking to may have some follow-up questions about someone named Stanely Kubrick, just say he’s a genius.
Are you wearing a Batman logo shirt right now because you honest to god can’t think of what else to do? Well, good news! “Batman Returns” while not technically a Christmas movie, is loaded with Christmas settings and imagery, which makes watching it in December technically interesting!
Another “too close to an actual Christmas movie” not quite a Christmas movie, but claiming it as your favorite will definitely remind people to think the word “Ugh” every time they see you. It is a singular movie for sure. No film before or since “Love Actually” has managed to be so problematic while somehow being so boring. Any other movie with this much fat shaming, stalking, and lack of agency in its female characters should at least make you angry enough to stay awake the whole time.
The problem with being a broody and melodramatic person is that people assume you’re complex when often you’re just sort of tired a lot. For most of those people, there are Tim Burton movies. But growing up, were you less the “safety pins all over my clothes” type and more the “reading Jane Eyre in public” type? Then it’s time to ditch “The Nightmare Before Christmas” for “Little Women” this holiday season. The 2019 one is objectively better, but you could also be way into the 1994 one to make people you possess something called “nostalgia.”
The Christmas scene in this one encapsulates the sense of loneliness and isolation many people can feel around the holidays, so you’ll get some major deepness points. Just don’t let anyone know you think Tom Hanks is the hero of the movie.
It’s not really a Christmas movie, but come on, all the elements are there. Snow, Reindeer, magic… It’s sort of like how you have all the elements of a person. A pulse, bank cards, a coffee mug with something funny written on it…
An irreverent, offbeat Christmas movie with an important message: The highs and lows of our lives are determined by the childish whims of the elite rich.
It’s a cut above all of the other Christmas-set rom-com movies because it stars Ryan Reynolds, the patron saint of people pretending to be interesting.