CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple CEO Tim Cook announced that the tech giant would begin harvesting beloved Saturday morning cartoon icon Captain Planet for rare minerals…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Up-and-coming country music singer Johnny “Slim” Wilkins saw his dreams of stardom crushed after finding out he was being replaced by an…
MILPITAS, Calif. — Local data analyst Wendell Peters reportedly received the dreaded “we need to talk” text message, sent from his AI ChatBot Girlfriend, confirmed…
TORONTO — Iconic filmmaker and leading architect of the “body horror” genre David Cronenberg completed a new feature-length screenplay earlier this week after seeing a…
LONDON — Sir Paul McCartney announced plans to continue exploring artificial intelligence technology, collaborating with a George Harrison AI so advanced that it spent their…
As a feminist, I believe that it is very important that women in STEM have opportunities to succeed in their fields. Whether their bands are…
It’s been said that life imitates art, but from where I’m standing, it never learns from it. Here you are, reading this article on the…
I’ve been a huge progressive metal fan since the 7th grade when my very confused great aunt bought me Dream Theater’s “Octavarium” instead of the…
HURSTBOURNE, Ky — Local technophile Dean Espinosa made yet another fucking pencil holder after needlessly blowing $10,000 on a 3D printer, frustrated familial sources confirmed.…
MEDFORD, N.Y. — Local Gmail inbox peruser Maiya Sollecito took the decidedly more convenient approach to dealing with undesirable emails by deleting them every day…
For decades, the hard rock behemoth that was Van Halen ruled the airwaves with the groundbreaking combination of Eddie Van Halen’s virtuoso guitar-playing, Michael Anthony’s…
BRANAU AM INN, Austria — Conservative podcaster and chrononaut Arlo Sanderson travelled back in time to protest the assassination of an unborn Adolf Hitler, insisting…
MECHANICSBURG, Pa. — Aspiring music producer Tommy Kent spent the overwhelming majority of his most recent mix session uninstalling and reinstalling Pro Tools, cackling family…
It has long been rumored that microdosing is the secret behind the success of billionaires like Steve Jobs, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos. After Bezos…
Uh oh, it looks like Windows has encountered an error, and will need to restart. Boy, this couldn’t have come at a worse time for…