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Hyper-Realistic George Harrison AI Spends Band Practice Angrily Plucking Sitar and Avoiding Eye Contact With Paul McCartney

LONDON — Sir Paul McCartney announced plans to continue exploring artificial intelligence technology, collaborating with a George Harrison AI so advanced that it spent their first band practice angrily plucking a sitar and avoiding eye contact, the ex-Beatle reported.

“At first it played guitar just like George did, you know. That is to say, it played what I told it to. But as the AI kept learning, it didn’t want to play guitar at all — it started muttering about Ravi Shankar, and wouldn’t look at me,” said McCartney. “Then it started playing a little tune on the sitar. It sounded pretty good, but it really didn’t fit with the sort of Little Richard-type blues number I wanted to do. It seemed like it resented me a bit, you know, it was like the real George was there.”

The engineer responsible for the AI, Mark York, noted that other Beatle personalities were evolving as well.

“John would always help Paul with a song if he got stuck. So I asked it to write a guitar part for the middle-eight section, but it just told me to ‘fuck off’ and started falling asleep,” said York. “And now it keeps showing up late to practice. I think it might be taking heroin.”

Tech journalist Samuel Kaminski has stated that these recent advances in Beatles-focused AI may only be the beginning.

“Now that the algorithms have learned to replicate the bitter feeling of being controlled by a more naturally-talented, driven bandmate, there’s probably no part of Beatles history we can’t reproduce,” Kaminski said. “Contract disputes, artistic differences, and petty jealousies can all be simulated with a few lines of code. A Yoko Ono AI is even being developed that can absorb up to 40% more misplaced blame for the band’s breakup than the real thing.”

As of press time, Ringo Starr is being replaced with an AI known as a metronome.