The legendary and infinite genre blending Michael “Brian/Bruce Lee” Park’s reverential DIY efforts often go unnoticed by both punks and rocks, and we hope that…
PITTSBURGH – Local man Jack “JJ” Jenkins was shocked to find out the “new” album from his favorite band Deer Stalker just turned 10 years…
SACRAMENTO — Young Joey Hopkins was forced to listen to volumes five, seven, and eight of his father’s Epitaph Punk-O-Rama compilation collection in their entirety…
LOS ANGELES – Legendary actress Jodie Foster admitted that former presidential-assassin-turned-musician John Hinckley Jr.’s latest folk single is surprisingly decent, worried friends reported. “He came…
INDIANAPOLIS — Your arch-nemesis allowed you to enjoy the majority of a record by a band you did not realize is Christian and plans to…
LONDON — Bedroom post-punk musician Rob Davidson begged listeners to use headphones while listening to his latest EP, apparently unaware that he would be fortunate…
NEW PALTZ, N.Y. — Local man Stephen Banquist scattered clothing, pet hair, and random bits of garbage all over his apartment to give himself an…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Forty-year-old punk Dave Taverston reportedly hit his limit for new music he is physically and psychologically capable of consuming earlier this week,…
TACOMA, Wash. — Local deranged person Billy “Bile” Harrison reportedly listened to the album created by his friend Jake Gomez on shuffle rather than from…
GARY, Ind. — Local jam band Welcome Back Emmett Otter increasingly wishes that someone in the audience of The Jackawolf would tell them when the…
Ever since Ganondorf attacked Hyrule, I’ve had to constantly remind you that we can’t go back to our normal lives until this great evil is…
CARSON CITY, Nev. — Your good friend Tony Suarez will make his radio debut tonight with his punk band The Republicants during your prime sleeping…
LAKELAND, Fla. — Local 30-something Gary Peters only managed to listen today to 10 seconds of All Who Remain Will Forget Me in Time’s Notes…
JENKS, Okla. — Jenks East Intermediate School 8th-grader Dylan Barker reportedly humbled himself earlier this week by removing a single earbud to listen to something…
GREEN BAY, Wis. — Local poser Adam Luis-Meyers narrowly reached the end moments ago of a two-hour long conversation about an album he’s never actually…