ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Every member of Rochester’s remaining DIY scene is homeless today following their eviction from the 600 square foot studio apartment they shared,…
SAN FRANCISCO — The hosts of the Discovery Channel show “Mythbusters” reunited yesterday to test the myth that a man died by tasing himself in…
NEW YORK — Fox News commentator Tucker Carlson dedicated a segment of his show last night to telling his viewers that the Capitol building may…
AMIGARA — In a press conference today, Boring Company founder Elon Musk unveiled the latest redesign of his Hyperloop transportation system designed to transport a…
HOUSTON — A punk house collapsed yesterday after the eviction of roommate Luis Flores, who it appears was a load-bearing, structurally integral element of the…
BALTIMORE — Local barista Eli McDermott’s home is now completely furnished with the cast-off old furniture of his rich friend following his acquisition of his…
ELMHURST, N.Y. — New York City Sheriff’s deputy Deandra Washington ceremoniously took a knee with the tenants of a local apartment last night before forcing…
TULSA, Okla. — Following President Trump’s categorization of “antifa” as a terrorist group, the Woody Guthrie Memorial Center was raided today by federal agents, taking…
NEW YORK — NYPD officer Carson Boucher could not record his wife giving birth to their first son last night due to his habit of…
LOS ANGELES — Following days of demonstration in the streets, Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti instituted a curfew for 30 minutes ago, effective immediately, multiple…
MUNCIE, Ind. — Sgt. William Porter, an active member of the Ku Klux Klan, was killed last night following a violent exchange with state police…
NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies yesterday out of desperation, amused…
ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention issued a reminder today that no one would’ve attended a Thursday night show anyway at KTUB…
FITCHBURG, Mass. — 32-year-old hardcore kid Justin Phillips is driving the “snakes” out of his local scene just as the original Saint Patrick did hundreds…
Opinion: Whether I’m Right or Not, You Have To Admit I Am Very Mean
Hey dude, how’s it going? Just wanted to say no hard feelings about the other day. That comment thread got pretty heated, aha. You said…