DANVERS, Mass. — An especially deep stage dive by local Garry Beverling established contact with long-fabled unsettling bioluminescent punks who thrive down there, sources confirmed amid shudders of fear.
“I had always heard of these wonders of the pit, but had never gotten a chance to see them with my own eyes. I took that leap from the stage, and got pushed further and further down, until I was face-to-face with these hideous, yet beautiful creatures. Glowing, with huge protruding teeth, and stark naked since they had never been able to make it to a merch table in their lives,” said DIY adventurer Beverling. “Oh, and I just want to say a big fat ‘I told you so’ to everyone who ever made fun of me for showing up to shows in an old-timey scuba suit. I knew it would pay off one day.”
One of the creatures in question delivered a message of curiosity by using a translation device provided by the American Oceanography Institute.
“The surface is a place we’ve long feared to tread. With its searing hot stage lights, and disconcerting rhythmic pulsations, we bottom dwellers know not of the land of live shows. We prefer the safety of the darkness down here…that’s what we tell ourselves, anyway,” remarked Deep Undercrowd Test Subject #1, codename ‘DUTS.’ “I must admit that someday I would very much like to feel the sour beer-encrusted air on my gills, and yell an ironic cover song for the ones onstage to play, and possibly elicit a faint chuckle from the one or two of my audience brethren. But for now, I’ll lurk on. For these depths are my home, and home is good. Plus, the drinks seem super overpriced up there. ”
Local wharf worker and known “old salt” Captain Harrison Bristols was quick to offer a tour of the under-pit to those who wish to venture there.
“Ay, to be sure, I can bring ye Hardened Timers a whole slew of those denizens o’ the deep fer interviewin’…for a price, that is! Why, me hearty crew of stout ‘n sturdy men are chomping at the bit to plumb whatever briny depths thar be to plumb,” said Bristols, as he twirled a harpoon just a bit too lackadaisically. “The brinier the better, we say! And plumb we shall, even the most treacherous of mosh pits in the most unkempt of basements. If the price is right, that is! And that right price? Oh…how about 60 bucks and whatever change we find down there? Sound good? Tight.”
At press time, the giant sperm whale that had gone unnoticed in the pit was eating half the audience.
Somewhere between art rock and screamo lived Angel Hair. They were an awesomely weird band and the fact that they were from hippie-ass Boulder and not the screamo headquarters of San Diego makes them even weirder and more awesomer.
Duncan Barlow spent his youth in Louisville, Kentucky playing in quite a few notable hardcore bands like Endpoint, Guilt, and By The Grace Of God. But as an adult, he moved to Denver, got himself a fancy new hat, and began d.biddle fusing a type of alt-country with stringed instrumentation and emo.
There have been a lot more female-fronted political hardcore bands lately. It’s almost as if on a daily basis our society slips further into a Handmaiden-esque dystopia which for some reason has made a number of women angry, go figure. Keeping the flames of the discontent burning is relative newcomers Faim. Their brand of raw, politically-charged hardcore serves as a soundtrack to smashing the fuck out of the patriarchy.
There came a time in the early 2000s when the math-y, hectic style of hardcore started to reach embarrassing lows (remember those fucking “crabcore” bands?) But there were some bands still holding it down and destroying stages and eardrums. Fear Before The March Of Flames was one of those bands.
Probably the only band on this list your mom approves of. And while they may sound like a cross between Sam Cooke and the sound of a craft distillery opening, they have deep roots in the indie and punk scenes of Denver. We dare you not to toe-tap along to their denim-drenched jams.
Not only do instrumental riff lords Native Daughters have not one, but two, drummers, both drummers play upfront live. They do a post-metal style much in the vein of Pelican and Isis but with the percussive elements taking literal center stage.
Oh look, yet another Colorado band that made our 
Even though their name might make them seem like a juvenile pop-punk band with songs about farting on your mom or whatever, this three-piece from Boulder was pretty serious. Their driving melodic guitar riffs coupled with Aaron Hobbs’ distinctive voice made them stand out from the other emo-tinged bands of the time. Two of the members would later form the more austerely named Acrobat Down.
The hardcore world was first introduced to Haley Helmericks with her backing vocals on Open Hand’s “Tough Girl.” She would later bring her deep atmospheric voice to form the dark-wave-infused Snake Rattle Rattle Snake and much like the actual rattlesnakes of the Colorado landscape, SRRS’ music feels like it could attack if you fuck with it too much.
While “Dawn of the Dead” is probably the best of the Romero zombie movies, “Day of the Dead” serves as a meditation on how different personality types deal with the end of the world, and how none of that matters because the military is a bunch of dickheads.
Dayton may be the ‘Birthplace of Aviation,’ but no one really cares about that anymore. Arguably more exciting is the fact that Dayton is the birthplace of Brainiac (or 3RAN1AC if you want to be a dick about it). Before their five-year run was cut tragically short by the untimely death of lead singer, Tim Taylor, they pushed the envelope on nearly every subgenre of punk and hardcore in existence. The band’s out-of-control sound has been cited to have influenced countless bands including, but not limited to; Nine Inch Nails, The Mars Volta, The Blood Brothers, and somehow even Muse (when they were good, we assume).
Among the first wave of punk acts to emerge in the late ‘70s, Dead Boys from Cleveland made their mark as one of the most chaotic and violent groups of the fledgling genre. Not unlike the multitude of Ohio residents who have never left their hometowns, the original iteration of the band would ultimately fall apart after releasing only two albums. An event equating to an unfortunate waste of a mountain of potential. Still their influence and legacy lives on, spawning sporadic reunions as a fresh lineup has been teasing new music since 2017.
Have you ever wondered what System Of A Down would sound like if they consisted of just a cello player and a drummer? Quit dreaming and listen to Cincinnati’s very own Lung. Performing as just a two-piece, the band manages to craft a lush and chaotic sound thanks to Kate Wakefield’s shredding effects-driven cello and operatic voice. Drummer Daisy Caplan holds down the fort with thudding dramatic beats. Together they make a racket so righteous you’d think they were from a respectable state.
Genre-bending pioneers and horndog legends Nine Inch Nails originated as the brainchild of Cleveland’s Trent Reznor. Despite Ohio’s legacy of agricultural innovation, Nine Inch Nails is largely responsible for popularizing and propelling Industrial Rock into the mainstream, though you would be apt to not mention that in front of Reznor or a farmer. The next time you listen to ‘Closer’ alone in your car like a depraved psychopath, consider how truly challenging it must have been for Trent to overcome such instilled Midwestern reservation to deliver the sex jam of the century.
A full two years before the masked metal band Slipknot emerged, Mushroomhead was already ahead of the curve regarding their costumed concept. In fact, the commonalities between the bands coupled with the suspected plagiarism committed by Slipknot lead to a chaotic feud that erupted in a violent 1999 tour-stop in Mushroomhead’s hometown of Cleveland, OH. As Slipknot took the stage, a horde of angry concertgoers began pelting the band with anything they could get their hands on, including (allegedly) a padlock that struck bassist Paul Dedrick Gray square in the face. All of this is apparently water under the bridge as each band claims fandom of the other, but one thing remains clear: Don’t fuck with Cleveland or you’ll get the padlock.
Columbus’s All Dogs formed as a bit of a supergroup featuring members of local legends, Delay, Saintseneca, and Slaughter Beach, Dog. Their sugary hooks mixed with their vulnerable lyricism made their debut album, ‘Kicking Every Day,’ an instant hit among those yearning for the next pop-punk explosion. While the band would essentially disappear for eight years after that review, rumblings in their camp have suggested a comeback may be on the horizon.
You don’t have to be a divorced middle-aged Dad to thoroughly enjoy The National, but it helps. Though technically formed in Brooklyn, New York circa 1999, the original lineup of the band was comprised entirely of members that claim Cincinnati as their home base. Since Brooklyn already has enough bands, we likely won’t get too much pushback here by rightfully claiming them for the Buckeye State. With captivating lyrics and delicately produced backbeats, The National remains one of the most revered contemporary alt-rock bands among very sad Midwesterners, and likely will for years to come.
This one is probably pretty obvious considering their massively popular and genre-defying single “Ohio Is For Lovers.” While Hawthorne Heights in no way invented or pioneered Midwestern Emo, we want to give Ohio a win here and fill our comment section with inflammatory retorts, so we’ll just go ahead and say it: Emo music did not exist until Hawthorne Heights released ‘The Silence In Black In White,’ making Ohio not just the birthplace for modern Emo, but the entire genre as a whole.