Let’s face it: when it comes to athletic competition, you’ll take every advantage you can get. The race doesn’t always have to go to the…
AUSTIN, Texas — Aging punk Bryce Horn is preparing for doomsday by backing up his collection of “rare” MP3s to an external hard drive amid…
True, by the time you finish this article many of these drummers will be dead or replaced. But as of this moment, all 50 are…
CAPE MAY, N.J. — Local Punk Steve Tillman’s nerves were quickly put to ease recently after realizing the trumpets he heard blaring were merely angels…
NEW CALIFORNIA, Ohio — Local man Trent Palmer desperately concealed his infected forearm from other survivors after a surprise attack from a crust punk, confirmed…
Nuclear war. It’s been the backdrop for countless movies, and video games and served as the #1 looming threat that causing loss of sleep in…
BROWNSVILLE, Texas — Six-year-old Danny Crothers is reportedly continuing to discuss his future dreams with no regard to the fact that the planet won’t even…
WASHINGTON, D.C — The Supreme Court of the United States recently decided, after allowing a law banning all abortions after six weeks, that the State…
LAS VEGAS — Local gamer Aaron Byrne ascended from his homemade backyard bunker sobbing today, lamenting the loss of the one piece of hardware that…
Is it just me, or is everyone super bummed about climate change? While the lame-o’s waste their time composting and not having babies, the rest…
PRAGUE, Czech Republic — DayZ, the post-apocalyptic zombie survival game, has reached new levels of authenticity as of late, with an all-time low number of…