CHICAGO – Sex bot and general scammer SEXsingleMAlloRy was shocked to discover she was a fan of Chicago band Rat Ass’ new music, tech sources…
Few good things have come from the irradiated wastes of Ohio. It’s an unforgiving realm of demons, bloodthirsty mutants, and sorcery (probably, we’ve never been).…
No trip to Whole Foods is complete without a playlist filled with R.E.M. songs. Georgia’s jangle-pop troubadours have entertained the high-end grocer’s customer base of…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Fender recalled a new line of guitars and basses that moan, grunt and scream while being tuned after weeks of constant complaints…
Choosing the wrong engineer for your album might ruin your music. My band, Butt Age, found that out the hard way when we hired the…
CHICAGO — Local Guitar Center employee Bridget Wolf carefully cut a fresh guitar strap from a rotating spit before serving it to an eager customer…
It’s hard to stay anxiety-free in our crazy world. Whether it’s the newest national tragedy, workplace havoc, or trouble at home, it may often feel…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local goth Matilda Flowers spent the afternoon wistfully staring at a pair of crows eating a pile of Funyuns next to a dumpster…
CHICAGO — Area hobbyist Keith James spent the majority of yesterday evening referring to his solo operation as a “Brewing Company,” moments after serving a…
LOS ANGELES — A discouraged Hans Zimmer closed out the GarageBand tab on his long-delayed ska album to begin work on another stupid movie score…
Despite what your self-help podcast might say, it’s very easy to have too much of a good thing. No truer is this than in Hollywood,…
CARBONDALE, Ill. — Area woman Meg Sebastian conceded that she would “check out Primus” in a desperate bid to end what she would later call…
Hey bud, sorry to interrupt your kneeling sesh or whatever this, but we kind of need this spot. Sure it’s your dad’s grave and all,…
Covid has killed over 700 thousand Americans since the beginning of 2020. Unfortunately, my beloved uncle Lee became another statistic last night. I appreciate the…
NEW YORK — Tony’s Tracksuits CEO Anthony Dante announced this morning that the tracksuit industry’s image “will never recover” from the success of Netflix’s latest…