It’s been another long week filled with nauseating political developments and beloved albums being removed from streaming services for several panic-inducing hours. Our loss is…
LOS ANGELES — Lizzo is facing backlash across social media after announcing she would be releasing a limited-edition split 7″ with powerviolence pioneers, and kung…
WASHINGTON — Representatives from the Capitol Police force requested funding for urgent mental health care for all the officers who responded to today’s presentation from…
EASTHAMPTON, Mass. — Local police officer James Kehoe was stripped of his Sergeant rank after his two semesters of D.A.R.E. classes didn’t result in him…
LOS ANGELES — Pop star Britney Spears is taking full advantage of her new freedoms following the ending of her 13-year conservatorship by taking to…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Facebook services suffered the longest outage in over a year, leading directly to a massive wave of Americans finally getting vaccinated for…
SAN FRANCISCO — A large drum circle in Golden Gate Park was ruined by each and every percussionist’s inability to keep a beat, understand rhythm,…
KABUL, Afghanistan — High ranking members of the Taliban decided to once again ban music throughout Afghanistan after your band’s demo was inadvertently played during…
AUSTIN, Texas — Texas lawmakers continued their draconian war on reproductive freedom by passing a new law that would immediately sentence any woman accused of…
LOS ANGELES — A Weird Transparent Angel Lady, best known for her work as the cover model on Nirvana’s final studio album “In Utero,” is…
PHILADELPHIA — All shows featuring tough guy hardcore bands are now on indefinite hiatus as musicians within the genre prepare to head back to Afghanistan,…
NORFOLK, Va. — An extremely organized right wing terrorist group known as the “Norfolk Police Department” held an annual fundraising event yesterday to procure more…
WASHINGTON — Over two dozen White House staff members with clandestine ties to the Kremlin and operating within President Trump’s trusted inner circle admitted today…
WASHINGTON — The White House claimed President Trump’s recent move to a local morgue at the insistence of his doctors was “simply a precautionary measure”…
WASHINGTON — Robert Mueller frustrated fans and detractors alike by playing the exact same set during an encore performance in front of the House Judiciary…