OKLAHOMA CITY — Scientists announced that the ashes of a cremated punk were so toxic that it would likely poison the entire local ecosystem for…
VATICAN CITY – The Holy See Press Office announced that Pope Francis chose the calming embrace of death rather than experience any additional time spent…
Legendary musician, producer, and seemingly the luckiest son of a bitch around, Quincy Jones died at his home in Bel Air Sunday night just a…

Baja Blast Turns to Baja Bummer After Tragic Doritos Locosplosion Causes Nine Dudes To Live No Más
LOS ANGELES — A late-night quest for the munchies turned tragic after a violent Doritos Locosplosion ripped through a Taco Bell causing nine dudes to…
If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a living nightmare of a job that takes every ounce of your being to make it through the…
PEARLY GATES — Legendary musician, producer, and music journalist Steve Albini spent the first few moments of his afterlife ranting about how bad the Smashing…
There is probably no inalienable right greater than freedom of expression, and what better way to tell the world that you saw Hawthorne Heights at…
MILFORD, Del. — Local punk band The Vengeful Squirts were visibly more upset over the cost to park their van at Kindred Memorial Hospital than…
LONDON — Internet detectives trying to solve the mystery surrounding Kate Middleton are dissecting a series of paparazzi photos that show the princess out for…
MOORE, Ok. – The country music world was saddened today by the news that country star Toby Keith lost his battle with cancer, a passing…
MADISON, Wis. — Local screen printer Peter Taylor admitted he could really use the $10 check his grandmother would send him every Christmas until her…
DUBLIN — Pogues frontman Shane MacGowan passed away after a lengthy illness at age 65, or 112 when converted to Irish Poet years, according to…