GAZA CITY — Israel’s Defense Minister Yoav Gallant defended the continued bombing of Palestinian civilians by asserting Hamas leaders are hiding inside the local children,…
LOS ANGELES — Actor Mark Wahlberg believes the off-duty Alaska Airlines pilot who tried to take down a plane mid-flight by cutting the engines was…
It’s an annual tradition for the straight edge scene elders to convene and discuss potential rule changes to make being straight edge less appealing and…
WASHINGTON — Rep. George Santos continued to assert his innocence after being charged with wire fraud and conspiracy and announced he added activist Rachel Dolezal…
LAS VEGAS — Probation officers around the country reported an overwhelming amount of travel request forms from felons under their supervision who want to travel…
NEW YORK – The fraud trial of Donald Trump began with heartfelt letters from Hollywood couple Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis testifying to the defendant’s…
CLEVELAND, OH – Sources confirmed earlier today that the band’s trip to their next gig in was extended by what must have been three hours,…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a bold move to counteract rumors of the President’s declining physical prowess, the Biden campaign is set to release an awe-inspiring…
SARASOTA, Fla. — Davey Lincoln, frontman for regionally popular pop-punk band It’s Not a Tumor, claimed a sudden bout of performance anxiety was due to…
LOS ANGELES — A rather hilarious Petey sketch where he plays at least a half dozen characters was reportedly not filmed and performed at full…
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Organizers of a spelling bee primarily focused on metal band names were disappointed to see every participant eliminated in the first…
SAN JOSE — Local man Chris Bendar, 32, very carefully found a verbal path around mentioning TikTok when recommending Petey’s new album “USA” to a…
Petey USA was born a 14-year-old boy in the crowd at a Chicago Blackhawks game at the United Center. Now a world-renowned singer, songwriter, actor,…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — Members of local indie band Seashore inexplicably carried their respective instruments nearly two miles into a scenic field for a promo photoshoot,…
The long wait is finally over. Football is back. This is the year your team will go all the way, all they need is a…