CHICAGO — New IT support person, and self-proclaimed punk, Alex Holden is causing frustrations with fellow employees at Hawthorne Inc. by suggesting they punch their…
As a child, you see so many depictions of police officers on television. Some of them show cops as the heroes fighting crime and saving…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A mass shooting that left one dead and at least 30 others injured at the Kansas City Chiefs Super Bowl Parade,…
Congratulations! Your horrendous behavior in the workplace has landed you in this Human Resources seminar. Our HR program uses the JDGS or “Jim Davis Grading…
To begin with, I’d like to formally apologize to anyone I may have offended during the funeral of Lucas Hodge, the father of my current…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local moron Griff Bradshaw made frequent frustrated attempts to gain entry to the venue bathroom you were, unity recently, peacefully defecating in,…
EAST LANSING, Mich. — New York Republican representative George Santos reportedly empathized with the families of the victims of the mass shooting at Michigan State…
MINNEAPOLIS — Officer Dale Kisserman of Minneapolis’s Third Precinct returned to work earlier today after a mandatory administrative leave with a rejuvenated sense of bloodlust…
Let’s face it, we have a problem here in America, and it’s spiraling out of control. We see it on the news every day, a…
In today’s highly connected and ultra competitive world, parents want to give their children every advantage possible. As anyone who’s ever seen a Tarantino movie…
PHILADELPHIA — All shows featuring tough guy hardcore bands are now on indefinite hiatus as musicians within the genre prepare to head back to Afghanistan,…
NEW YORK — A mercenary team of ex-special forces, KGB, and other trained combatants attempting to take an entire gala event hostage were single-handedly defeated…
PHILADELPHIA — Protesters demanding an end to police brutality found themselves in an awkward situation today when they applauded riot police for mercilessly beating the…