BOISE, Idaho — Troubled sophomore Blaise Porter’s plans for mass vengeance have been slowly dashed by the tough business realities of building a roller coaster,…
LOS ANGELES — World-renowned documentarian Ken Burns has already completed two episodes of a seven-part series addressing America’s ongoing Second Civil War, sources report. “It…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Ofc. Travis McHone opened fire on several guests gathered at his home last night for a surprise party in his honor, leaving…
SACRAMENTO — Local woman Lena Wright was charged with resisting arrest yesterday for fighting back against the armed, plainclothes rapist and city employee who attempted…
MINNEAPOLIS — Members of the Minneapolis Police Department disbanded yesterday to focus on their individual violent side projects, citing creative differences within the force and…
Navigating the discourse surrounding highly anticipated video games, much like the apocalypse, is a constant struggle for survival. Discussion about the original The Last of…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local cop and bland-tasted white guy Cody Anderson admitted earlier today that, despite his general aversion to any seasoning heavier than salt, he…
LOS ANGELES — Police officers continued to wreak havoc on the city of Los Angeles this week, looting over 50% of the city budget, and…
WASHINGTON — President Trump ironically announced earlier this week that he would be a “law and order” president, despite a lengthy history of criminality, sources…
LOS ANGELES — A woman protesting the killings of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd died of natural causes moments after she attacked a police baton…
Imagine if you will: a cold, unfeeling machine with a badge and a gun. A law enforcement automaton incapable of reason or compromise. Driven by…
MACON, Ga. — Local Civil War reenactor, blogger, and aspiring mass shooter Randolph Cunningham was forced to go door to door yesterday to find victims…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Local indie band TunnelFuzz are facing criminal charges today, and are officially banned from all Orange County venues after allegedly dosing…
If you are looking for the spark that will ignite the flame of incel revolution, look elsewhere. When I bought my ticket to see “Joker”…