CHICAGO — Local woman Jenna Morris was thrilled to discover that her Spotify Wrapped did not contain any traces of Bo Burnham’s “Inside” this year…
AUSTIN, Texas — Adrenochrome “Addy” Jones, the five-year-old German Sherperd owned by far-right conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, claims to have proof that the still unnamed…
RIPLEY, England — Fans of controversial musician and vocalist Eric Clapton were openly concerned for the songwriter after releasing his new song ‘Tears In Heaven…
ATLANTA — A group of heroic gatekeepers came together to stop the spread of a new subgenre of hardcore music that was close to gaining…
The pandemic is officially over, everyone! Much like a groundhog seeing his shadow, we have received the final sign that COVID is coming to an…
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention director Rochelle Walensky released a new set of guidelines for St. Patrick’s Day revelers prepared to…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local man and obvious liar, Benjamin Walters, who was recently diagnosed with COVID, claims to have caught at “the gnarliest show” he’d…
Hey bud, haven’t seen you around in a while, oh, you’ve been isolating! Didn’t know you could wait tables from home, ha ha. Wait, you…
Word around town is there’s an alleged shortage of at-home COVID tests. But if that were the case, how was I single-handedly able to buy…
There’s no denying the dangers of misinformation in the age of Covid, but are we pointing our fingers in the right direction? I recently came…
PIKETON, Ohio — A Dell XPS desktop computer belonging to the Piketon Public Library is starting to get nervous upon hearing reports that remote learning…
BROOKLYN — Indie rock musician Kirby Wardle would do just about anything to get a crowd at one of his shows like the one currently…
ATLANTA — Two cubicle neighbors who haven’t seen one another in over twenty-four months are basically caught up on one another’s lives in under a…
SEATTLE — Local punk Brock Riley admits that he yearns for days when he could spread every illness under the sun to his friends without…
ATLANTA — A terrified passenger aboard flight 1894 to Portland expressed slight relief today in noting that the creature on the wing of his plane…