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Goth Finishes Third Lint Roller This Week

CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski used an entire three-pack of lint rollers in just five days, according to sources within the macabre woman’s…

Post-Breakup Goth Displays No Change Whatsoever

CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski is exhibiting “incredibly dark, morose, and in no way different” behavior than prior to a recent breakup with…